Daylight

Here I am waiting, i'll have to leave soon
Why am i, holding on?
We knew this would come, we knew it all along
How did it, come so fast?
This is our last night but it's late
And i'm trying not to sleep
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away

And when the daylight comes i'll have to go
But tonight i'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
Oh-woah, oh-woah, oh-woah
Oh-woah, oh-woah, oh-woah

Here I am staring at your perfection
In my arms, so beautiful
The sky is getting back the stars are burning out
Somebody slow it down
This is way too hard, cause I know
When the sun comes out, I will leave
This is my last glance that will soon be memory

I never wanted to stop because I don't wanna stuck alone babe, stuck alone babe
I was afraid of the dark but now it's all that I want, all that I want, all that I want

And when the daylight comes i'll have to go
But tonight i'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close

My Sundown

It has been the longest time since i've had such a well-spent day like one yesterday. PlayNation with Eyc, Sarah, Alvin, and Colin was an eyeopener with all the unglamorous and truly entertaining moments. HAHA. And if that wasn't gratifying enough, overnight bridge and a whole lot of laughing into the wee hours with Debbs Alvin and N2 definitely was. I can't believe how spontaneous the friends were hehehe ^^ Not gonna say much but i love spending time with the people i do. This semester has been rewarding, more so than I have expected, and the day ended it with a whole new level of goodness altogether. I thank God for the friends, the results, and so, so, so, so much fun. For everything.

Meet me halfway.

For all it's worth, this has been a good run. Many times I find myself slipping back to where I just started, only to get a grip at the breaking point of remembering how hard I've fought to be where I am, how much I've done to free myself from whatever has been holding me back for way too long. So I continue moving forward and I know I've got what it takes to refrain from falling back to that stage of my life where everything seems so bleak. Just keep walking. It has been a semi-productive day studying with Smilerahz and I did enjoy the partly serious, partly entertaining, and partly interesting conversations we had. Here's to an even more fruitful day of studying tomorrow (and the days after that leading up to finals next week)!

Tonight, I got reminded of too many feelings I would rather not have experienced. But for all it's worth, I'm still here. I'm still living.

Stop getting so emotionally attached to things and people you know will come to pass, mag.

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

Some people in your life are meant to be there for the journey, but not everyone is meant to be there until the end.

SPLIT SECONDS AWAY.

Semester two is coming to an end. Unbelievable how time just robs us of our moments and our living months, years.. something I scorn at every single time I reflect on how much more I could have done for myself and for others. What I really hold is disdain is my own actions that I regret, and the person I blame is really, just myself. But God has been good to me for the past few months, I should know that better than anyone.

Sometimes though, I wonder, what more could I have done to live those moments to the fullest?

Rj the bunny have been going out of her way the past couple of weeks just to help me and because of that, I am honestly touched at the fact that there are people who still bother. On the same note, I'm really glad for her whole clique for always being there for me whenever I have to be #foreveralone hahaha, like when Eyc or the rest of my clique has something on and I can always, always, join them and feel so belonged. Eyc whom I really appreciate having (almost) all the same classes as me and whom I can always talk to about anything, as well as A who can be so extremely annoying but always so ready to help. Really thankful. Haha and jokers like N2 who make my school life entertaining as ever. All of them are more than I asked for, and I am so grateful to be me. The classmates have been great, but the thought of having to grow accustomed to a new class all over again next sem makes me shudder a little. Am I gonna have to constantly step out of my comfort zone? Will I never get to stay with the same group of people? Something tells me that this is life. And so the answer is yes.

On a slightly separate note, I'm done for all my presentations this semester! Wheeeee thank God. Now I can only pray for the best. Haha and so currently I'm left with all the studying for the remaining exams to come. OK CAN.

PS, today was an epic fail on my side to maintain my composure. I can't believe I did what I did hahahaha so embarrassing omggg.

PSS, ESL was a full 3hrs today we almost died. Hmm I don't know why I had to say that.. but yeahh hahaha!

PSSS, there were moments today I actually thought of 10A03 and found myself wondering if I actually laughed as much as I did then.. it surprises me how many kinds of funny exists out there and how fortunate I am to be surrounded by people like that who never fails to make me laugh.

THEN, I thought of JA. I wish you were there with me to enjoy all the retarded moments, just like we used to. I miss you very much :-)

And not forgetting Daph Law. Please, press on! A's will be over before you know it, and you are stronger than you think. Stay strong love!

I was never made to be all that perfection.

I yearn for nights like those I've had in the past week. Free-spirited, insightful conversations, accompanied by light-hearted jokes and genuine self-disclosures, all of which came unanticipated and flows with ease and comfort. Friends who are honest, open, and unafraid to be themselves in my presence. Those late nights were definitely worth it, and it's been so long since I've enjoyed sitting through a meal without worrying about tomorrows to come. I want that. I do.

I feel like I'm undeserving at times. But- And I'm absolutely, immensely thankful.

It stirred me how people can be so honest with themselves to the extent they actually feel like a horrible human being, despising all that they stand for. And at those very moments I find myself mustering all that I believe in as someone who believes in God and hence the goodness of humanity, to convince them that they are not. It actually tears me a little to know the people around me are feeling so inadequate... and I want so much to be able to change that, to let them know how precious and valuable they are. At least in my sight. But then I remember how often I feel likewise- insufficient and unlovable- eventually growing numb to the idea that I will never be good enough. Will I ever touch someone's heart the way the people around me do to me? 

One of the best.

You And Me- Lifehouse (Stripped)

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Dear, don't you see that this is a vicious cycle?

yesterday, today, tomorrow, i.

“Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to." -Slyvia Plath

  As i take in God's glory in full each day, witnessing the majestic wonders of every corner of all the places i've been to, there's still that lingering thought that never leaves. i have long guessed that the finite self can never fathom what lies beneath the surface of the life i'm living, nor am i able to envision what lies ahead, but the soul still calls out hard and long for a release so liberating the tears can run free. And for once, not out of desperation from a distressed and dissatisfied voice. Little did i know.. time has worn me out. Time, like a thief, has stolen from me perhaps not so much the days of glamor, but days and weeks and months of what life i can put to use and accomplish even the simplest pleasure on earth.

“Tomorrow, you promise yourself, will be different, but tomorrow is too often a repetition of today.” Author James T. Mccay

And that is where my grief lies.

Where and when does change come into play? Where and when does change, change?

Even if this is goodbye

Words can't describe our chemistry. :-)

Last night when I first saw her I literally felt my heart leap for joy! It has been wayyyy too long :( But I'm glad to see that she's doing fabulously well!! It was time well spent, even though I have assignments due tomorrow and I was supposed to be panicking yesterday. (I did, just not during the period of time spent with spastic Lynn haha) Dinner at Holland V nydc followed by a nearly 2hrs walk to Tiong Bahru MRT hahaha, while we reminsce AND update each other on the latest and juiciest news (more of hers than mine duh HAHAH). And it was reallyyyy crazy, the things we talked about!! She would know. Hm and, time really flies.

Take care love!! (I mean it and you know it)

I hate goodbyes and I hate separation even more. But times like these always cause me to think about the same kinda things.. over and over again.

PS, FINALLY COMPLETED CREATIVE ASSIGNMENT OYEAH!!  

PSS, not really looking forward to seeing how I'd do for this since creativity really isn't my strong suit... :( 

small (free) talks.

so apparently small talks are underrated. at least according to com 225.

free writing. it's basically writing about anything and everything under the sun without structure. i love that. i don't know what's the relevance but oh well. hmm small talk does help avoid awkward situations. haha righttttttttt. oh there, free writing. that's what imma do now. hah.

anywayz, i have been stuck in front of my laptop for the more than an entire day, waiting for inspiration to struck me so i can start doing com 217's CREATIVE assignment. but so far... i've got only the skeleton. sigh, if only this applies to me. literally. hahahahaha. hm it's not funny at all. i cleverly decided to do up my reference list for esl 408 though, so at least one thing is off my mind. woohoo i know how to cite APA style- IN YOUR FACE. haha not like anyone cares. it's actually idiot proof once you get the main idea. which is good for idiots like me bwahaha. but oh well i'm still bothered by my severe lack of creativity. OK i've got the idea but face it, there's this part of me trying to procrastinate my way through. BUT NO IT SHALL NOT HAPPEN. i will complete it by tomorrow. or at least....... make sure 70% is done by then HAHA. okay fine, 75%. arghhhuhhhggg honestly i don't care. i just wanna get it over and done with. of course after putting in like 101% effort. heh heh.

school has been... considerably kind.  i'm thankful. two exams went by, and i'm pretty relieved. although i'm still quite irked by the fact that there's so many assignments due for com 217. deal with it. i should really stop whining like a beach. baby. girl. hahaha MAN UP! everyone's moving on. i guess i can say i'm happy for the friends. i really am. oh anywayzz, there, like all other places, you meet all kinds of people. don't wanna judge so just gonna really thank God for all the nice friends, which to be honest, is really most of my classmates. and i'm contented. hmm.. it has been long. on another note, hahahaha they are really funny. like Laugh Out Loud funny, not "err ok ha-ha" funny. HAHA the thought of it always makes me wanna burst :D

oh random mindless thoughts. how ironic ha ha ha. oh oh lynnie is back in singapore for a few days! gonna see her two days later can't wait I CAN'T WAIT. hehe. recently i have had... no social life. none to mention of, yep. pathetic, sad, boring, yep. life of an old lady, yep. it's almost a prediction of my future oh my this is really quite sad. haha never mind it's alright i can always get rich and buy a farm and ride on horses and unicorns and die among roses. hahah i'm just kidding. no seriously, i am kidding. haha. what's wrong with me? hmm no idea it's 1.27am now. Happy Sunday everyone. i can't sleep oh no this is bad i must sleep soon. like now, NOW. i really have to be early for church tomorrow. yuppp! don't screw up your body clock mag. don't don't don't.

okay. Dashboard Confessional has been accompanying me till late nights recently. we practically ARE bffs. ^^ i don't understand how i missed them when they toured sg previously. grrrr why why WHY? haha nah whatever. have been spamming Dashboard Lifehouse and FM Static s-t-a-aa-ttt--i-c cc....as well. Top top top top favorites woots. loving the script's new album minus all the excessive rapping. erm like, seriously TOO MUCH. still good music though.

talked to JA over the phone just now LOL our convo...retarded as always. at this point of time, i'm missing kemei exceptionally much. i really don't know why :( of course, and ruimin and so many other people. but kemei, somehow it seems i haven't seen her for AGES AGES AGES HOW CAN HOW CAN. oh, and lynntoh haha but i'll be seeing her soon!

just this couple of days... it dawned on me what's the kind of person i really admire most. and it makes me happy knowing that there are still people like that in this world. maybe i'll never meet someone like that, but i'm happy for whoever does. it's a blessing to have someone who genuinely loves and cares for you. cherish them. :-)

good night all xoxo

"One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching"

 The rate my life is progressing at scares me like hell. But more than that, it gives me a wake up call- to see all the shadows in all corners of my memory and propels me to recognize the regrets I've made from time to time. That's perhaps the thing which horrifies me the most, and the one burden I definitely have to get rid of if I wanna move forward in life, happily. I keep saying I don't want regrets, but why oh Lord do I keep giving myself chances to repine so hatefully?

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

And that's probably the answer to change- to start from within. But knowing that I'm such a wreck, both inside and out, and so unavailingly messed up, what then?

I feel like before I sort things out, before I do the right thing, I don't deserve to get my heart's truest desire. I don't deserve to be happy. It's pathetic like that.

Even so, what keeps me burning is God's grace. Thus far, I am immensely thankful for all that He has given me, so much so that my gratitude to His grace lies beyond what words can barely express. And it is also this amazing strength that can help me fulfill everything mentioned above.

I will.

IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

- C.S. Lewis

Some kill their love when they are young,
  And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
  Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
  The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
  Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
  And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
  Yet each man does not die

Extract from Oscar Wilde's The Ballad of Reading Gaol 

Liverpool I bleed for you :(

For the past couple of years, it seems no matter how hard they fight, winning has become such a chore. They say it's useless dwelling in the past, but somehow that's the only way that keeps me believing in the revival of Liverpool someday soon. 

I so do miss the '08/09 squad of Liverpool.  

It's a joy to be studying something that you genuinely like. Often people forget that until it's too late. Other times they fail to recognize what they truly want for themselves. I know because I have found myself in both situations. But right now I'm just happy where I am.

I love studying in peace- something I never expected myself to say one year back. After all, who loves studying?

But intelligence is always attractive. And studying is more gratifying than many people know. And some never will.

It took me so much to remember.

On another note, recent subtle events have made me realize how much I miss actually being good at something, how much I miss doing something I completely derive pleasure from, how much I miss knowing the kind of person I wanna be.  

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.  -Helen Keller

You won't lose anything you don't have.

Take deep breaths and only remember what's really important.

Don't rely on anyone to fill in that void. If you haven't realize, people often let people down.

People always leave.

I don't know why it should affect me, but it does.

But, be well.

Skipper.

“But I’ve done a lot. I have no regrets. I’d love to win the Premier League. I still have that hunger. But I also know I have to be realistic and it could be I’m no longer playing when this club win the league again. But what do I do? It would be easy to say I want to leave. That I’ve had enough of this club. But I haven’t had enough. I want more.” - Steven Gerrard

RESPECT. :')

“There is no refuge from memory and remorse in this world. The spirits of our foolish deeds haunt us, with or without repentance.” -- Gilbert Parker

“But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart.”

The things we see and hear around us everyday, the people we cross paths with, the places we have been to... have you ever wondered if they are all interconnected in some ways or another? That maybe, they are just small little pieces of puzzles that fit into a magnificient picture? One so great you never even dared imagine. Sometimes, I feel this way. Other times, I can't help feeling that they are like vapor that evaporates and never meant to be part of anything significant. Yet always it is only after having experienced how insignificant every encounter and trial is and every relationship turns out to be that we learn this lesson, that my vision starts to clear. Why?

Why? is never a question meant to be answered, but nobody seems to get it. Everyone wants to know the reason, the answer. And until we find out it appears that we can never rest.

As if knowing the truth can give us peace.

Probably. But it comes at a costly price and after a long time of healing. Because I guess the truth always hurts? Cliches are there for a reason.

Just a question for reference: Do people grow close to one another only due to circumstances? In a way, are they being "forced" to laugh with each other, to please one another, to go through thick and thin, to weather through the storm, to face difficulties, to have fun together, but only in a given context? Take that away, will those close friends remain close? If the answer is a resounding yes, then they are probably the pieces that will form your big picture, people who make you complete. And if no, then won't they fall into the latter? Vapor that was once essential, purposeful for a given occasion, but eventually evaporates, leaving nothing. Oh and how about those who smile at you as genuinely as you make them out to be and laugh with you so much, so hard that strangers envy, but are secretly filled with contempt when they regard you plainly? You know, we often buy into the ideas that others plant into our hearts- that we are special, but if we have the ability to read minds, we probably realize how pathetic and miserably wrong we are- that we are as insignificant as any other in their sight.


If we have to live our life with our guards up and defenses so strong, what then, is life? A weary, dark, strategic game that can never bring contentment and joy, possibly? And because of that, we come up with lies to eliminate any possibility of being hurt, and we accept them for what they are. But as for me, I don't wanna live like this.

Maybe I used to, but right now I want to stay true to myself. And I want to be happy.

That is why true friends are hard to come by. Never let them go.

Cherish your friends. Trust your instincts. Pray to God. :-)

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”

“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.”
― Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Should i be feeling this way?

If it's the right thing to do, right thing to say, how come i don't feel the kind of happiness or excitement that probably should have accompanied the words being spilled? It feels as if i confidently took an elevator expecting to go all the way up only to find it going in the other direction, and at a very slow speed. Hmm or perhaps, i don't feel confident or capable enough to be accountable.. because, what if i'm wrong? 

Such a weird feeling.

No, I'm not sad. Not exactly.

Compulsion

Help, I've been so hooked onto Criminal Minds! It's definitely sick and warped the way they creep into minds of the criminals haha. But in a very real way, it actually allows you to empathise with the mentally unstable in the world because they can't stay sane as much as they want to. Some of them. But still. I've been sleeping so late and waking up almost near noon I can feel my skin rotting. Okay I'm kidding! Hahaha because 8 hours of sleep does more than any medicine to heal and rejuvenate our skin!! Oh but yesterday I dreamt of something horrifying. I can't remember what it is but it's probably got to do with watching Criminal Minds just before I go to bed. 3 seasons in less than 2 weeks whee!

Hmmmm absolutely in love with Derek Morgan!! He's so charismatic and kind. Well most of them are. HAHA reallyyy cute too, the way he always looks out for Garcia awwwww- heart throb!! 

AND REID IS SO AWESOME I LOVE HIS SCENES ^^ 

Oh oh and I think A.J. Cook (Jennifer Jareau) is REALLY pretty! JUST LOOK AT HER. :-)

Why am I up so late? Beats me! Contemplating between reading, re-watching A Walk To Remember, continuing another episode of Criminal Minds, or sleepingggggggg.

Omg I got no life hahaha hols what have you done to me?

Absolutely loving this song and Five For Fighting :-)

Chances are all they hope to be

God is gracious and He has been wonderful to me. Bountiful mercies i don't deserve but am immensely thankful for, truly. :-)

22Jul- 

Birthday with the two people who have been there for me for 5 years and counting. Doesn't sound like a lot but deep down i know how much we all went through together! Had the best time laughing with the gals and taking grossly inaccurate personality test.


Birthday with the cousin i love so much before that^^ xoxo











23Jul-
Always happy to meet the girl. And the most tear-jerking birthday card (with an essay long of heartfelt words) received ever. She knows me inside out. Ms Forever Late and Always Forgiven came after that and words can't describe how much i miss her.:')  I had a lovely time with them, short but sweet! More on that during the stay-over hehe.

25Jul-
I PASSED MY DRIVING PRACTICAL!!!! 'NUFF SAID HEHEHEHE 
&
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELEEKEMEI! 

The next few weeks were filled with presentations and exams and before i knew it, 12 weeks flew right by me. First sem was unexpectedly good to me. Com 101 proj group mates are the best i've had, really pray for nice proj groups next sem. Gonna miss the friends too :'( 

10Aug- 
Psy 101 was my last paper. And after that I met up with my best girls :-) HAHA MOVIE NIGHT WAS EPIC WASTE OF TIME. Jia Ai's eyes were so glued to the screen we found out her real motive for suggesting the movie hahaha. I think Daphne secretly enjoyed it as well............... After the movie we contemplated going for supper but got so lazy we just went straight to Daph's place. It was a BLAST hehh. Even though well we spent another couple of hours watching this highly twisted and intelligent movie we didn't understand after all and ended up going to bed feeling freaked out, a little. Haha stupid girl went to lock her room so JA and I couldn't go harass her. Not like we wanted to.... nah, we wanted to. Haha! The next morning the two of us woke up earlier than her (obviously) and ransacked her kitchen, gobbling down her cereal and helping ourselves to the food in her fridge. But it came at a cost coz JA had diarrhea that very day hahaha. 

11Aug-
Fish n Co with 10A03. The day JA had diarrhea. It was great seeing the guys after months haha they are still as retarded oh well!

18Aug-
Impromptu dinner with Joy absolutely love love love her! ^^

20Aug-
Met Tab Lee and Joanne for dinner, finally. Haha really enjoyed catching up with them :)

22Aug-
nydc with Ruimin hehe always a joy to meet up with her and we make sure it doesn't span too far apart one meeting from the next! Heated argument that was so hilarious I almost choked on water haha. Dinner was sooooo satisfying hehe~


OK I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M POSTING AS IF I'M WRITING IN A PLANNER HAHA. But anywayzzz, school's starting in a couple more days NOOOOOO...... :( What kind of uni hols last for 2 weeks zzz I'm gonna miss sleeping 8 hours and more everyday hahaha! Oh well but I'm kinda stuck between excitement and dread. Is that normal? Really pray for another great semester. 

But in all, God has been good to me. And i thank God. The friends will know :-)

Still Here

It's been so long.. I feel like I'm escaping reality, escaping the harshness of this world by avoiding having to pen down my thoughts. Lately. Because when I write, I'm forced to think. 

But beyond that, there is stillness and comfort when I'm writing. For that, I'm glad. 

Every single day we fail to appreciate the words and thoughts of others we come across (whether verbally or  in writing) not knowing how invaluable they are, especially since they all make up bits and pieces of the truest parts of other people's lives. Things that they want to share with the world but hesitate out of fear, weariness, vulnerability. We can understand if only we choose to do so, but we get so caught up in our very own lives  we view as more important over others' ( because we as humans are simply, self-centered), and that's perhaps why we are unable to do so. 

Just a thought, I really don't like to be made use of. It just takes away the joy of being friends with someone and knowing there's no intentions or motives to guard against.

I'm freaking stupid.

It's like a slap to my face.

For the first time this year, I'm not expecting anything. I would have made the simplest wish- that we could all be happy and complete... But no, I don't think so. It's like wishes don't come true anymore and for the first time I'm seeing it.

Somehow I dread that day, knowing that on the day before that I will just crash and break down. I will realize, how real all of this is. And on that day itself, then what? I cringe at the thought of it.. Will I feel sorry for myself? Or would I even care? All I know now is that it will never be like past years. I've grown too detached from the dearest people around me. Or maybe not so dear, since the closest people (those that matter) will never leave you. But at this point, I can't say for sure what is genuine or not anymore.

All seems broken and irreconcilable.

I'd be contented to be surrounded by people I love and care about. But the dear friends are all over the world now, facing and dealing with different aspects of life (at least from mine), and doing what they can and ought to do. Somewhere inside me constantly reminds me of how irrelevant I'm becoming../

If it is born in flames then we should let it burn
Burn as brightly as we can
And if it's gotta end then let it end in flames
Let it burn all the way down

SPAIN'S THE LOVE.

Haha I haven't found the time to blog for the past few days especially since it was hell of a week. But thank God I survived.

So now that there's more time on my hands (at least for now)...

CONGRATS TO SPAIN FOR WINNING THE EUROS 2012!!!!

Hahahaha I know it's been days and this is probably no longer news but to me it is and will always be. Hehe so proud of them ^^ I got so much to say but I'd probably write a 10,000 words essay about them (and the many repetitions of "I LOVE SPAIN") haha so I shall just keep it short. Anyway, it has been really heartening seeing them win the Euros '08, World Cup '10, and now the Euros '12!! They won twice consecutively and shut their critics up. (HAHA) Spain created history, and it was such a tear-jerking moment at the blow of the whistle, seeing how their efforts paid off :') And all the Spaniards with their kids? SO FREAKING CUTE. ESPECIALLY FERNANDO AND HIS LITTLE GIRL NORA AND LITTLE BOY LEO. SO CUTE I CAN'T TANK. Hehehe ^^ Just look at them, seriously. And all my heartthrobs xoxo!!

Fabregas's such an all-rounder and he played reallyyyy well the last match. In fact all of them did, too! Special mentions to Arbeloa, Pique, and Alba for fighting so hard to deter the opponent team from scoring. And Navas, whom has potential whooo! Silva with his awesome goals although I felt he kinda underperformed a little. Iniesta and Xavi are simply geniuses, and they have such great chemistry omg haha. Their passes and crosses are so accurate I always look forward to see them in action! And seeing Xabi and Torres (despite what the rest say) play is always a huge joy to me. And need I say more about Casillas? The best keeper of all time, it's like he has amazing multi-purpose fast reflexes hands!! I just love the whole Spain team, like SO MUCH SO MUCH. HAHA. Trust me, I desperately wished I was in the locker room with them during half time. Hehehe!

Not to mention... FERNANDO WON THE GOLDEN BOOT AWARD AHHH SO INTENSE HEHEHE!!! :}

So happy for him!!! He has been through so much criticisms and I just feel for him :( So seeing him win the Golden Boot Award gives me great satisfaction. Especially when practically nobody expected him to. And with Bosque excluding him for an ENTIRE game? I was so pissed! Hahaha but oh whatever coz eventually that helped him win the Golden Boot, too, with lesser playing time! So anywayyyyy, the guy deserved it for playing his ass off after all the doubts and speculation and failed attempts to prove his worth time and again. Despite what everyone says about him, I still believe he's an excellent striker. So I really hope this gives him the much needed confidence to perform in the coming season. I have faith in him hehehe ^^ Hoping for him to come back to Liverpool is probably wishful thinking so... I'll be happy as long as he's doing well!! Love you Torres HAHA.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THANK YOU, SPAIN.  

Can I, really?

He fell in love with her that very moment.

We are racing against time.

SO MUCH WORK TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME.

All the assignments and projects and exams... arghhhhh.

But God is gracious, I can do this!!!

Meeting JA yesterday despite this tight schedule of mine and my extreme lethargy was anything but disappointing. It was always the case. ^^ Cheer up babe, hope your Batam trip turned out to be a blast!! :-) Hehe, and I'm glad I told you what I told you. Xoxo.

PS, Soci presentation this coming Tuesday oh mannnnnnnnnnn (nerve-wrecking for more than one reason)


On a side note, I really thank God I met Denise in UB (again) on top of the fact that we only really got to know each other like say, 6 years later? HAHA. Okay and heyyyyy you are right, we must "maintain"!!! So I shall dream of you tonight instead hahaha!!!

At the end of the day, you are still you.

I guess in short, today was kinda bittersweet?

There are certain things to thank God for, just as there always will be. But just when I thought things were perfect the way they are now... I had to be proven wrong. I felt like a fool. Honestly, a little uncertain, lost and hurt? :( I'll be fine.

Suddenly feeling so alone again.

On a happier note, there is great comfort in establishing a connection with a person with seemingly the same wavelength as you in terms of thoughts... That is to me, the most precious of all things. It brings communication to a whole new level. A kind of mutual understanding although nothing has been shared.

Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you've been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

SPAIN GOING INTO EURO 2012 FINALS.

Spain vs Portugal semi-finals almost killed me!!!

It wasn't one of Spain's best performing matches and they only stepped up their game in extra time (which was kinda late obviously......) so it was freaking hard to watch them fight against time and struggle to get a goal at the last minute. Portugal defended well though, but as usual the players were SO aggressive and dramatic I feel like slapping their faces haha (especially Ronaldo) HAHA. Typical of Portugal eww. Okay it wasn't funny coz at that point of time I was so frustrated that Spain was trying and passing and kicking and getting nowhere near a goal :(

SO ANYWAY IT CAME DOWN TO PENALTY SHOOT-OUTS. My heart was beating so fast and I was so nervous I think I totally disconnected with my physical body. Hahahahaha. Then Xabi kicked the first penalty and missed (suddenly I was feeling more sad for him than for Spain AT THAT INSTANT coz he looked so disappointed with himself :((((( ) But it turned out the Spaniards scored the remaining penalties with Fabregas kicking the winning goal hehehee good job Cesc xoxoxo!

CONGRATS SPAIN FOR GOING INTO THE FINALS. Thank God!!

I really pray Spain plays like how they did in the extra time for the finals against (I would say Germany hahaha) and be the first country to win the Euros twice in a row. So they say it's impossible. But, hehe I have faith in them!

On a side note, I find it so unacceptable that Fernando didn't get to play in the semis at all :( Okay I'm whining but...but-... but it really saddens me to see him so sad sitting at the bench. I mean, he's not worthless to the extent that he can't contribute at all right?! Surely his 2 goals scored against Ireland meant something. It is no wonder the Torres today has no confidence when he gets the ball. Criticism comes in for him so easily and there's no sign of any acknowledgement when he starts to up his game. I say he thrives on positivity. But that's just my opinion oh well it doesn't change anything. Fernando brace up! Anyway, even so he was so happy for his team mates when they won the penalty shoot-outs. Hehe pretty boy has a pretty heart. Oh no why am I so cheesy? Hahahahah love you Spain!!!

"Youth offers the promise of happiness, but life offers the realities of grief."

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?


“Grief is like the ocean. It’s deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and fate and love.”

Dusk And Summer

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

It constantly amazes me how time just gets ahead of me before I even know it. It's been three weeks since I've started school at UB and everything's going great so far, putting aside all the assignments and readings starting to pile up, that is. The friends are pleasant company, though that's beside the point since many of us are too preoccupied by work to really have an exciting social life. But of course, that should be the way and we all know it.

Anyway, Psy lecture was interesting today (we learnt about drugs and their effects and a drug-free way TO GET HIGH like seriously what?!?! HAHA), lunch with the og mates was hilarious as always hahaha and ESL today was somehow quite enjoyable I don't know why. HAHA. Oh, and get well soon Eychelleeeeee! :-)

Finally gonna hand in Comms assignment tomorrow, I reallyyyyyy pray I'll do well for the essay after it drove me mad for DAYSSSSSS. :'( I shall not be affected by what others say about the teacher hahaha because the thought of it scares me to death. OKAY BE BRAVE MAG.

On a side note (VERY IMPORTANT NOTE), EURO 2012 IS STARTING THIS SUNDAY I CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT!!! Hehe ^^

GO ESPANA~

Oh and I heard The Script's gonna release their new album finallyyyyyyy! xoxo.

AND AND AND I'm gonna meet the two awesome girls this Sat. Awesome.

Above all, Hello June please be kind. :-)

Shalom everyone!

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel