Empty Apartment.

“Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.” — Albert Schweitzer

On the same note, I don't know how much longer I can live so lifelessly. Or when will my light come back. Not literally of course, because I'm in a very good place of my life right now. Or, nearly-good. (Since our predicament in life is always so mercurial and quick to change) But one way or the other, I still thank God for the simple things in life, the many blessings we oft forgot or refuse to count. I guess I've been more happy these few months than I've been the last few months leading up to the actual A level exams. So really, I'm contented. But to be honest, I doubt that myself despite claiming so for countless times. Because I know there's always a problem I have to face, a problem I'd rather avoid and have been doing so, a knot to be untied but have no idea of how to go about doing so.

It was only today that I came to the realisation that next Friday does not only hold the stake of my A level results in relation to the course of my life from henceforth, but will (perhaps more importantly) determine the outcome of my relationships with the closest people I've been around all my life.

I don't think relatable human beings are so easy to find. And that's why I think such encounter will just have to wait, or happen only to others.

On the surface, I am key to change. But in actual fact I don't have a choice in any of this, do I? My choice is in deciding. But what if I don't want to?

I tried asking myself, what would God do?

But all that I have in my head is, blank.

I may only have to keep praying. But time's short..