The Man Who Can't Be Moved.

Love this band, love this song, love this story. Really sweet :)

The Script.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I've been in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
Policeman says son you can't stay here
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl, oh whoa
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world
Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'Cause you'll know it's just for you

Wordless.

Just one of the days I suddenly, really miss Fernando.. Not to mention just the day after Liverpool won the Carling Cup and he's not part of any of it.

Ok warning: a whole chunk of words about that pretty boy up there so don't scroll down if you're gonna be annoyed (probably, maybe understandably) at my endless rantings about him and of my long walk down the memory lane of Fernando Torres AGAIN sigh..(really redundant and rhetorical but... why oh why Torres?)

& it pains my heart still, whenever I come across all the articles filled with critics attacking him. But all of these are part and parcel of the 'glamourous' soccer celebrity life that I have no business having a say in, and there's nothing I can do to stand up for him. :( What he has gone through when the fans were hating him.. that must have been hell lot of a difficult time and I can't imagine how he must have felt. Broken perhaps. And for staying strong, I admire him so much. OK REGARDLESS WHAT THE WORLD SAYS. I hold strongly my stand in believing that he has his reasons for doing what he did. And really, I just wish for him to start showing the world what he is truly made of and continue making his presence felt on the pitch. Haha he's so gonna leave everyone awestruck again. Yes he will, he will. Fernando Torres isn't dead, nope he isn't. Can I just say again, I really miss him!!!! :'(

Anyway, seeing Xabi's tweets about Liverpool always brings a smile to my face and warms up my (still healing) heart because it just reminds me how much he loves the club even after transferring to Real. Haha what amused me yesterday most was his tweet during the penalty. #inpepewetrust HAHA HOW CUTE IS THAT SERIOUSLY?! And read an article about him claiming always to love Liverpool and his decision to "raise his Liverpool-born son as a Red supporter". Awwwww :*

OKAY AND THE HIGHLIGHT: CONGRATS LIVERPOOL WE DID IT! CARLING CUP 2012 CHAMPIONS. Haha who cares if it's not as prestigious as the other awards, it's still a number 1 yeahhhh. Hahah as for the Barclays Premier League, hmm let's try again next year! Meanwhile there's definitely a chance to be in the top 4 #foreverhopeful c'mon :)

PS, Cardiff City goalkeeper Tom Heaton was awesome, respect.

Go Reds!

My body's here but my heart's at Wembley with them Reds bwahaha!

C'mon Liverpool :)

From Xabi darling on twitter, "Come on Reds!! All the best pals."

Shows exactly where his heart still lies teehehe!

Empty Apartment.

“Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.” — Albert Schweitzer

On the same note, I don't know how much longer I can live so lifelessly. Or when will my light come back. Not literally of course, because I'm in a very good place of my life right now. Or, nearly-good. (Since our predicament in life is always so mercurial and quick to change) But one way or the other, I still thank God for the simple things in life, the many blessings we oft forgot or refuse to count. I guess I've been more happy these few months than I've been the last few months leading up to the actual A level exams. So really, I'm contented. But to be honest, I doubt that myself despite claiming so for countless times. Because I know there's always a problem I have to face, a problem I'd rather avoid and have been doing so, a knot to be untied but have no idea of how to go about doing so.

It was only today that I came to the realisation that next Friday does not only hold the stake of my A level results in relation to the course of my life from henceforth, but will (perhaps more importantly) determine the outcome of my relationships with the closest people I've been around all my life.

I don't think relatable human beings are so easy to find. And that's why I think such encounter will just have to wait, or happen only to others.

On the surface, I am key to change. But in actual fact I don't have a choice in any of this, do I? My choice is in deciding. But what if I don't want to?

I tried asking myself, what would God do?

But all that I have in my head is, blank.

I may only have to keep praying. But time's short..

Mac & Cheese

Since we first got to know each other 2 years ago, little has remained the same, yet little has changed.

xoxo,

BB :)

We're hiding behind skin that's too tough

Sometimes to avoid getting hurt, we walk around with spikes in our skin like porcupines in an extreme and desperate attempt to build a barrier between those whom we really care for and ourselves. We distance ourselves from them for the only selfish reason- to be protected from heartbreaks. And in the course of pushing others away, we hurt them instead, ultimately bringing a greater pain and the worst agony to ourselves. All that we take away from it is piercing regret.


You're in the dark
There's no one left to call
And sleep's your only friend
But even sleep
Can't hide you from all those tears
And all the pain and all the days
You wasted pushin' them away
It's your life, it's time you face it

People and Things

"I thought I knew you. But I guess it's easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. You think you know me but you don't. And that means you don't know what I can do."

Recently I've been drawn to a recurring thought... which is, is anyone in this world ever completely, absolutely, and perfectly reliable?

Bu bu jing xin. Can one's first love be different from one's true love? Haha it just puzzles me in a very stinging manner. I know it's just a show, but just like how a book can evoke many conflicting emotions and agitated feelings, the whole plot leaves within me a lingering air of gloominess yet at the same time, longing for more. If love is really love, shouldn't first love be one's true love? But the whole concept of it is far more complicated and obscure for me or maybe even anyone else to grasp.

I look at how things and people around me have changed or come to a standstill lately, and I wonder, what changed? Some people said, feelings never change but people do. Really?

Anyways, I'm finally recovering so reallyyyyyy thank God for that! It's been a 'painful' three weeks haha. Okay and, I'm gonna have to start exercising again. I mean, seriously. Oh and last day at MKG today was.. heartwarming. Sigh, gonna miss the children the most, obviously. :')

At this point of time, I know fearing and worrying is basically pointless, yet the heart still grows anxious as the month of March draws near. Everyday's practically a reminder to me of how weak i am in contrast to the Almight God.

Oh and hey Aunty Lee and Purple Dino, I tried uploading the pictures but to no avail haha no kidding! But I will keep trying chillax manzxzxz you two heehee :}

Love Somebody, Yes I Do

Love somebody, yes I do.
Love somebody, yes I do.
Love somebody, yes I do.
Love somebody but I won't tell who.

Haha, such a cute children's song.

Tonight was great, totally made up for a tiresome day at work hehe. Short and sweet time spent with Nat and JA. I think I make the best cards hahahaha. It's so cute I can't stand it, exactly like how kids decorate their cards. Ok the two of them are probably on the verge of puking already. LOL. Anyway, it's really, I mean really, a pity that DaphLsm and Pling couldn't make it :( Hmm but never mind Cereal Killers won't get killed! We'll await the next FULL ATTENDANCE meeting, definitely. Happy Valentine's Day all of you! :)

Miss 4Maddies like mad, and well Cedar bballers'09 too. It's been 3 fast years haha. I'll never forget Valentine's Day(s) in Cedar. ALWAYS THE BEST. Let's do it all over again one day. Wishing all of you lots of love, truckloads!

On a completely random note, I haven't been running or exercising since I fell sick three weeks ago... and I'm feeling grossly unfit. :( So tired of sore throats after endless coughing and vice versa. God, please help me recover fully soon!

Priceless.

Moments like these, totally priceless.

Yet at that point of time I never knew such victorious days were gonna be so short-lived. It never occurred to me that two out of three of my favourite Liverpool players were gonna change their shirts and transfer to two different teams respectively. Two teams that I don't fancy at all.

Why Torres left I will probably never know and this will forever remain a mystery to me. I absolutely refuse to believe it's the freaking lucrative pay that did it, yah okay but who am I to decide right? Anyhow, many Liverpool fans (hardcore ones) have probably moved on long, long, long, long, long ago from the phase of facing disappointment (and maybe to some, betrayal) and have long decided that Fernando isn't worthy to be kept anyway (disputable in my opinion but it doesn't matter since nothing's gonna bring him back), but his time in Liverpool along with the players then, will be the best and most beautiful picture of LFC in my memory. Of course he's not what Liverpool's all about, of course. But back then- ok never mind. Moving on.

Xabi is probably another great player that everyone love and undoubtedly, I WANT HIM BACK. That's wishful thinking but the main point is, I'll always, always, and always miss him wearing the Reds shirt. And it definitely applies to Fernando as well.

The Liverpool vs Man Utd game today was a torture to watch. In between hoping that Liverpool will start playing decently and gaining possession, my mind drifted to a few years back and I can't help recalling the 2008-2009 Liverpool team. It saddens me how different I felt watching every single game then as compared to how much I don't feel watching Liverpool matches now. In the past, I honestly always expect a win and a good win over every team we play with. Right now I just hope with all my heart they start playing like how they used to. Sigh, looks like this season that's not very possible. Despite everything though, I really admire the Liverpool spirit which I know will never cease regardless of what others say. Really, those opinions are redundant. I personally feel that there are potential players in Liverpool currently and yeah I do like most of them, but.. oh well it just feels different. :(

Okay and seeing Gerrard play still touches me because he just gives his all in every game and well, RESPECT.

Suarez, I feel you. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions. I choose to believe him. But really, he was sucha badass today hahahah!

Okay laa I still love you Liverpool, haha definitely. :) The condemning rest can just go away.

YNWA.

Dark Blue

“In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed most of their vices are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror.” — John Steinbeck

These days have been eventful.

I miss the people I miss and I can't wait to see them. And even after seeing them I continue missing them for the very reason I don't get to see them as much as I used to. And those whom I have missed for a long time I continue missing until maybe time starts to erode the small but precious moments we've had together, so much so that I forget to miss them. But it probably never happened to me yet because I come to the realisation that for those I don't see or talk to since the moment I started missing them, my heart actually grows fonder of each memory we ever shared. Yet, the heart feels tired at times too. And sometimes, maybe, the heart forgets even if I don't want to. That'd be the easier way out. Except more often than not it's the heart that remembers but the mind refuses to. Either way, I guess we miss who we miss and we love who we miss. Unless, I don't really know...

Okay maybe those are just chunks of words redundant and irrelevant. Meaningless and all a moot point. Haha, even I got lost in my own words. Perhaps that's what we all need once in a while- time and a chance to just be ridiculous and unrestrained, once in a while.

Is it applicable to all who are waiting for their A's results to be released, or just me, that as the day passes I can't help noticing we are all inching towards the month of March, and anxiety undoubtedly increases by the hour as I ponder over how well or poorly I did exactly?

But who are we to wonder? God's in control.

KEEP CALM AND TRUST GOD. :)

Step by Step

Hey darl glad to see you doing so well today haha, even though you had a pinch of craziness in all your mannerisms. It's very scary in case you don't know. And I'm compelled to tell you that our friendship is at stake. HAHAHA because I certainly won't want to get near someone like the-woman-at-HollandV Starbucks. I'm sure that's the reason the waiter chose to attend to me instead of you hahaha! Okay you know I love you truckloads right heehee. Anyway just wanna let you know that what you are doing is noble so have patience and 10020380497047123328479287 times of forbearance and love because the children need Ms Lynn. Haha you can do your regular 'dance routine' in the toilet when you are fuming, I think that's a really good way to cool down LOL! Either that, or gimme a ringggggg. Thanks for walking me home and I enjoyed all the funny stories very much despite the fact I was facing a toilet crisis. (The same one I faced in Korea on the tour bus HAHAHA) Loveyoumuacksbye.

I miss that girl so much haha. And just now while talking we just remembered how fast we grow up without even realising it ourselves. We known each other since 13 and now that we are entering into our 19th year......haha 'nuff said!

I can't believe the month of January passed just like this. I'm certainly gonna miss the small little ones and the immense amount of pleasure they bring me... Well I guess this is life. Maybe whatever I decided today was not the best thing to do, but when my heart speaks louder than the voice in my head I'll do it anyway.

Oh and hey JA, I have a sudden urge to go to the movies with you haha! It's only last week that we met but somehow I feel like we haven't met for super long, again. :( Hm, I think it's just me.

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Gratitude is the memory of the heart.

Hey JA, I know what your fb tag is driving at, but some things are far more complicated than they are on surface level. Haha, for the most part though, I will try to bear them in mind! In any case, you are different and thanks for everything. :) Random like totallyyyyy, but........... I know you love this picture so. :}

Turmoil.


The day wasn't easy, nor was it any pleasant. But what irks my heart most is how awful my behaviour was earlier on today as a result of being the receiving end of a disappointing news. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I made it sound to be, but nevertheless I feel equally guilty for acting the way I did to a mere stranger, no matter how insignificant it may be. It may be the smallest thing, but I can't condone it myself and I can't bring myself to accept it as a form of 'mood swing'. It just wasn't right. Almost as soon as I showed my annoyance I regretted it immediately, but what's done cannot be undone. I can only feel sorry...

When you have a bad day, make sure you don't become the reason for someone else's one. Really, I think prevention is better than cure. Remorse, is perhaps the worst feeling- to regret and to blame yourself far more than the reproach of others for what you did.

On a separate note, it puzzles me how people can claim to want to be there for you anytime you need them, but the moment this need arises, they are either nowhere to be found or there but for the wrong reasons. Then again, what's right and what's wrong? A pity perhaps nobody knows anymore.