Are You True?

I'm too tired for words. Maybe now I'll just be myself.

It pays off not being too reliant or accustomed to someone or something, because you protect yourself from being crestfallen and scrapped off once again. 'Nuff said. We are all fragile creatures taught to be strong. I'm gonna be strong from now on, for a whole new purpose. Because it's true you need to face your adversaries alone in life, with the exception of God.

Take every blessing that comes your way and thank the Lord, trusting that He'll multiply it in His own good time. Meanwhile, don't ever trick yourself into thinking you deserve everything you desire. Truth is, we deserve, nothing.

But when we do get the best, know it's from above. Cherish it and be contented; live life to the fullest.

Hey, the world doesn't revolve around you.

Whether you smile or frown, whether you laugh or cry, whether you love or hate, whether you live or die, the sun continues to shine, the earth continues to revolve, people continue to live their lives, and life continues to go on. So there's no reason -none at all- for you to dwell in self-pity or misery. Move forward and press on, you'll see that life is beautiful. Run a race that is of God's, the rest will fall in place. :)

They say, easy come easy go. But, nothing that actually means something is or will ever be easy. But that's what life is all about. It won't be smooth sailing, it won't be painless. At this moment, this very quote comes to mind as it always does. They gave our Master a crown of thorns. Why do we hope for a crown of roses?

Indeed, so true huh. Haha yup anyway, it's stressful to see the pressure build up around you, and that makes life in school difficult and unpleasant, but... I've decided, to always look on the bright side and be thankful for what I have. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to be prepared for the big A's, and surrender the rest into God's hands. Count your blessings, you never know what God could have withhold back from us but is gracious enough not to!

It's disappointing, that our team isn't able to make it to the next round, but I'm not gonna look back anymore. Instead, I shall be contented to have shared this experience with the girls. Proud of SA basketball girls for putting up a good fight last match against VJ. We lost but, no regrets! :) As for the rest, it's time to let go.

So it's our 2nd last match against MI tomorrow, go TEAM SA! :}

PS, Portland Trail Blazers vs Maverick Dallas game 6 tomorrow: GO BLAZERS! (Rudy Fernandez all the best heehee!)

PSS, JA made my day during CSE by nodding off and jumping from her seat with hilarious sound effect HAHAHAHA!

I gave my heart and it's all I can give.

The defeat to NYJC today was unthinkable, because I know we could have done so much better. But now that it's over, nothing else can be said or done to change the outcome of this match. Reality is such, we gotta move on. But what hurts me most is how I've done everything I could for this past year, and yet be left with no choice but to sit and stare helplessly as I witnessed how we all slowly gave in to despair, and hold on painfully to "what could have been". I can safely say I had faith in them till the very last second, but for now that isn't the point, is it? This time round, I'm not gonna blame myself. The fact is, I don't even get to share the blame, so there I said it. What and how that person had decided today, was an insult to us. But maybe after all, I have no right to be so agitated about it. Maybe, in the first place, I wasn't enough.

Bridge Over Troubled Water.

I don't think anyone can honestly be immune to pain. But we choose to, because facing it costs us too much. We... run away.

The weekends have been sorta, rejuvenating and although an incredibly short break from school and all the drama, it was nevertheless needful. The sea is immense. So comparably our pain shouldn't be. We create false fears to prevent ourselves from facing the real ones. Let go of bitterness, let go and give yourself some space. Not being understood, whether by friends you trust so much, or friends whom spent so much time with you, or friends who seem to genuinely care, it really hurts. Especially when you've decided to be strong, but can never escape that voice in your head undermining your strength to move on. It's true that at some point of time, you will be alone. People won't fit into your lives the way you want them to. I recognised that, and for quite some time now, my heart has accepted that. I'm no longer wistful. I'm letting the melancholy go. But have faith that you will find that somebody for you in future. The hero you can always rely on. Yeah it's cliche, but I believe in it. Meanwhile, what are true friends for? And as always, behind the scenes, there's our dearest, mighty Father, unchangeable God. :)

Don't compare. Comparing always hurts. Always. So right now, I just wanna be constantly reminded, that I should live my life according to God's will, and live it happily. I wanna step out of my misery and be there for those who need a friend, and hope, and love.

Be the change you wanna see in the world.

Hey love, you don't like the person you are becoming, but I do. Because I know you aren't changing for the worse, you are discovering a stronger you, just that for now you need someone to push you on. I'll be there for you. :)

OKAY WHAT'S NEW, HAPPY GIRL.
RANDOM GOING-ONS IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW:

1. Bryan Greenberg is as of now, my favourite musician and actor. (And ideal guy bwahaha!) 2. Portland Trail Blazers lost to Dallas Mavericks and it was such a close game I'm kinda sad. Somehow I feel I'm a jinx to every team I support. But then again, I know that's not true. Self-contradiction there, yeah I know. Heehee! 3. Went to see the physio again and hmm... my knee's bandaged again, now double-bandaged. And the best thing is, I'm gonna play ball later with Priya Muhhindhrin. (YES SPELT HER NAME CORRECTLY FOR ONCE LOL) 4. Maths isn't exactly one of my likeable subjects anymore, that's sad huh. :{ 5. Rudy Fernandez is an awesome Basketball player I'm really impressed. Haha, who cares about Kobe Bryant now LOL. 6. I kinda like NY Knicks and LA Clippers too. (there's hidden reason HAHA) 7. First match on Tuesday, against NYJC.. feeling jittery. 8. I smell of medicated oil now. 9. Gonna go back to doing maths zzz.

Goodbye Misery.

I look around and see the people who are desperately trying. To do better, to please others, to be happier, to succeed... the list goes on forever.

I'm no exception. I'm not a superwoman.

People always attempt to say things and mean it. But often their actions show otherwise. It takes many heartbreaks and dashed hopes to reach the point of becoming numb and unfeeling. When that happens you realise nothing seems so big a deal anymore. It depends on which way you see it. Maybe it's a sad thing, to be so detached and aloof, or casual and apathetic, but on the other side of the spectrum, you are more peaceable, contented, and happier. And so I'm determined to do what I set out to, and I'll leave the rest in God's hands.

No expections anymore. Somehow I think feelings never change. But circumstances and people always do. It's inevitable, and maybe given our human nature, embracing these changes will do us good, as much as we hate to.

Whatever it is, whatever it takes, do the right thing. Do the right thing in God's eyes.

I pray all of you will find joy in your hearts, no matter how arduous the process might be. It'll be worth it. :)

Too Close For Comfort

If anything, these few days brought into my life a whole new perspective and renewed confidence to start anew. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a pleasant experience at all. There were heartbreaks and severe despondency. Mixed emotions and reproaches. There's so much to consolidate, so much to reflect upon, and so much to run away from. Right now, I'm not gonna do any of that. Because really, some things are better left unsaid, someone once told me this. I've never felt more true to this. I guess it's just too draining. :)

I can leave everything to silence and let them become unspoken memories, but one thing I can't (and would probably never be able to) do is to run away from the guilt of being a disappointing child of God. For the past weeks, and months, and days. My faith has been wavering, but even now I stand strong to it and I'll loudly proclaim that my faith is true. I don't blame anyone for getting the wrong idea about how Christianity is a relationship between God and man, and not simply a religion. I only blame myself for not letting this marvelous truth shine through them, or for contributing to the terribly wrong mindset of how temporal the comfort this God of mine offers, due to my lack of trust in my Heavenly Father. Honestly, I'm brutally and thoroughly convicted and admonished, ashamed and regretful for once in my life, for being such a horrible testimony. But I'm glad, because this wake up call, this rebuke from God, came early. And I thank God, for waking me up from a really, long, slumber. I've been unfaithful. But not anymore. And for now, there's nothing I'm more certain of than knowing God truly, really does love me, even when I've been so, unlovable. I will reconsecrate my life into His hands once again. I will find rest in Him.

Thanks Km for the reminder. :)

Holding on too tight only suffocates everyone. In the end the first one gasping for breath, being on the brink of giving up to despair, will only be myself. Stepping back, looking at God's bigger picture, I've never felt so contented and genuinely peaceful in a long while. Despite how impromptu today was and how alarming some news (about certain people) were, it was a good-great- day filled with that warm, happy feeling I wouldn't exchange for the world. And dear Tuesdays, so far you've been kind to me. From now on, there will be no pressure, no expectations, no nothing. The chance, lies in your hands. The chance for all of us to start afresh, most importantly, happy and de novo. Thank You Lord! :)

Contentment breeds happiness.Expectations always causes heartaches.

We are all too blind to see.

Never think that you know someone. They might surprise you. For good or for bad.


My knee isn't getting any better, but I hope the pain goes away soon. Basketball trainings are only gonna get tougher now that the season has started and our first match is nearing. I'm not gonna complain, because somehow right now, this seems to be the least of my concerns. It's probably the best thing happening in my life right now, as compared to school, studies, and people. Such irony huh, basketball. The moment you score, the sense of satisfaction is so gratifying you instantly forget all the misery and downfalls life's reality is throwing at you.


But most of all, I'm thankful I have God. Because nobody is more faithful, more loving, more reliable than our mighty Father above. In Him, there is absolutely no room for doubts and uncertainties. He will provide, simply because He loves us. If God be for us, who can be against us? And therefore I'm exceedingly glad I went for Yf today again after a considerably longgggg time! Heh, then went for dinner at Far East with Mel, both Josiahs, Amoz, Eddison and the rest. Got a lift back from Eddison teehee! Catching up with church frinds is always a great joy. It's true God blesses you when you seek after Him wholeheartedly. Honour God and He will honour you. :)

You know, as much as you are afraid of losing someone, sometimes you gotta accept the fact that (as much as you might have been), you are not that important to a person anymore. Someone told me, the hardest part is probably not wanting to give it all up because that person is still important to you. Then again, what can you do otherwise? You can't move on. But she said, maybe, that's the point, we don't want to.

You are racing like a Pro.

Oh crap, blogger doesn't wanna let me upload pictures :((((((((((((((( (And the posting option buttons aren't working tooooooooo!)

But anywayyyy,



school's been hectic. Life's been messy. But we all can't escape from it, and the only thing left for us to do is to embrace whatever all adversities and frustration with an open heart, and open mind, an open attitude. Face our fears.

I'm blessed to have so many good friends around me who never fail to bring the smile back to my face every single time self-doubts arise and disappointments come my way. It's not to be taken for granted. I won't.

The class have definitely grown closer from last year, and though I miss some of lively souls who aren't with us this year, I'm gladden and more than pleased, to not only know my other classmates, but to be a classmate to them. Most importantly, be a friend to them. That small circle of friends, with immeasurable poor humour and retardedness whom I'm so thankful for, have been my source of fun, mirth and hilarity (as well as quite definitely, LeeJA's too) in our currently mundane lives. Then again, it's not as that boring. Life has been so fast-paced for me and days past by like a whirlwind as I get caught up with the piling school work, incomprehensible lectures, and crucial basketball trainings. At least I'm given the chance to do what I love, to work towards my goal, to be kept busy and involved. Thank You, Lord.

Yepp. Okay next, friendly match with Dunman Sec was not too bad, though there is still much room for improvement! The team too, has gotten closer (undeniably) from the M'sia trip, and this really helped improve our understanding with each other on the court. I'm just glad to see my efforts start paying off these few weeks, and I pray with all my heart this will motivate me to work harder and be at my best every single time I set foot on court, and of course like what we all desire very much, to prove our worth, to see the results. I truly thank God for blessing my efforts and grace so sufficient, or I wouldn't be able to play like I did just now. I have to say though, today wasn't my best, and my defense was (to put it nicely) terrible. :( Hahaha gotta train my stamina. Like, seriously.

Looking at the Polaroid I took with Jia Ai makes me smileeeeeee, so happy it turned out pretty teehee! :)

Lynnie, you don't know how much it consoles me knowing I came to you at the right time whenever you are down. Because I wouldn't know what kind of best friend I'd be if I weren't there for you at your darkest moments. And so just remember that you are a woman of strength, and you have a potential so great you can't see it youself. So don't ever give up on yourself or let your efforts go down the drain, because like I said, there's a hero inside of you waiting to shine and show the world (and the people who don't see you for you) what you are made of. I know you and you are just, simply, wonderful. You told me failures only make us stronger. And so I know you'll only get stronger, better. Take heart my girl.