Barriers.

Well I don't know how to say this right
And the words got me choking
I keep hitting this wall
It's never gonna fall
And we're still broken

This mountain we've been trying to climb
It's never ending
Just can't do nothing, gotta do something
Cause if we don't open up our eyes
We're just pretending

Well there's a time for giving up
Didn't wanna have to say it
All we're doing is building walls
And now there's too many barriers

After yesterday, I give up.

All these years of bearing with it, shoving it aside, pretending... the pain and bitterness that accumulate to become such a strong wall of defence and caution, made me realise how resentful I've been. But up till today, that's okay. Because I thought I had the support of the people I care and trust, and that they'll be going through it all with me. I was absolutely wrong.

Even though for countless times I was disappointed, but I kept believing that they will be there for me if ever I need them. But it was just wishful thinking on my part. You heard about one sided love? Well, this isn't it. But it's a one sided friendship. My bad.

I should have learnt my lesson long ago. Man is after all, man. The faithfulness of God should have kept me from faltering, from trusting in the wrong things and people. But I guess I was too blind. Now, I hope it's not too late. I want to surrender, but this time, only to God. My God.

I never should have opened my heart to them. And, I won't ever open my heart to others so easily anymore.

It was so painful.