Brighter than the sun.

Late night mugging, afternoon naps, morning frenzy. It's not gonna end here, it's gonna be doubly intense from here henceforth. BRING IT ON! :)

Hahahahahaha I say this easily because my prelims end today. And a couple of days later I won't guarantee the frown won't be back. In any case, I'm gonna stay P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E. or at the very least, TRY. Come what may! Anyway, the stats paper today was more than a little difficult to me, if you ask. But no complaints, just gonna work harder. The History paper was killing my master hand and no amount of massage seemed to work in the midst of that 3hrs, not that I had any time to massage my hands for that matter. (Unlike some of my classmates who had spare time to SOLVE MATHS QUESTIONS after completing their essays, like seriously?! HAHA.)

Bus ride to tpy(hilarious), train ride to dhoby. Bus ride to Parkway, bus ride home. Spending 4 whole hours with LeeJA wasn't too bad. Hahahha she's gonna kill me if she sees this, after I sent her a "so shweet text" heehee. It was a blast and almost as if we had no more exams, ever. If only! Anyway, it's nice to relieve old times and joke around like foooools with the classmates. And seeing how far we've all come. I bet our jokes were so funny strangers wanted to laugh too. It wouldn't be so annoying if we weren't so noisy, though. 

TROUBLE IS A FRIEND.

Trouble he will find you no matter where you go, oh oh
No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow, oh oh
The eye of the storm or the cry in the mourn, oh oh
You're fine for a while but you start to lose control

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart
He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!

Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe, oh oh
And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow, oh oh
He sees what I see and he knows what I know, oh oh
So don't forget as you ease on down the road

So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!

Oh how I hate the way he makes me feel
And how I try to make him leave, I try!
Oh oh, I try!

I won't say Prelims is off to a good start. Not since the first GP paper. Then History paper 2 which I completely wrote out of point for one of the three questions. And Maths paper 1 which I know I could have prepared for more than I did. CSE, and finally Econs paper 1 today which I didn't manage to finish. But I'm gonna take it in my stride and just work harder for A levels! No time for misery and self-doubt. God is with me. :)

These two days, I start to once again appreciate the things and people around me more than I have for months too. I guess that's why God puts us through fiery trials in the first place, so that we can better learn how to cope with greater challenges ahead and rise above ourselves. Life's tough but God is good!

It's not your situation which has changed, but your perception.

Press on!

MAD RUSH! Okay, I spent the earlier part of today hitting the books and enjoying the rarely cool weather.. in between thinking back on how things were last year, or the year before. Things aren't gonna get easier from here, and if anything, it'll just be more challenging. Life is an arduous journey, and I don't think I can ever complete it without God's grace. It's time to re-shift my priorities, sensing that things are getting out of hand.

"... but we still pursue them and puzzle over why we cannot stop doing it."

I Don't Wanna Be.

Hihihihihihihihi I'm back after a very confused phase of my life.

I don't wanna be someone I know I'm not, so it's all gonna stop here. HAHA I read most of my older posts and I realised I've been a VERY SAD PERSON FOR THE PAST YEAR OR SO! HAHA. Not gonna dwell anymore.

thanks Kemei for your postcard... hmm I think it's, "spectacular" even though you don't think so HAHA! It was great studying with you yesterday, though I was busy sniffing and dealing with migraines :( Haha & our failed attempts at making Kho Rm jealous! But it was fun nevertheless, laughing at her smses that she herself had no idea was so hilarious. :)

& thanks for waking me up at 6.30am today like you said you would heehee.

On a side note, Lynnie injured her hand by smashing it into a light bulb and landed in A&E 2 days ago! I had a total shock of my life I called her immediately only to realise she wasn't answering. Hahahah then she texted me like 2hrs later to tell me she's fine. Anyway, how she landed in that situation is beyond me haha, gonna listen to her story SOON. Don't text so much already Wuen Lynn haha!

Okay, the weather is erratic and everyone is falling sick lately. Okay, or maybe just me... hmm taking a panadol each day for 5 days straight now :{ It's time to stop before I get hooked :/ Yep so anyway, take care all of you peeps because... exams are just round the corner. Boohoo! :(

LIVE AND LET GO

Letting go is never easy.

Always, leave everything a little better than when you just found it.

On a side note, time is ticking away fast. Anxiety is not helping, not at all. I wonder who knows the heart in me now. The small voice is reminding me, to never forget there is a God I can rely on when all else fails.

"We all have to live with the residue of our choices, and the consequence of our actions.” OTH, Brooke Davis

Spirit in the Night

You. girls. are. awesome.

Such simple times when the night is actually so calming, it makes you happy enough just to be with the people you love hanging out with. :)

The superwoman who did ALL the picnic preparation, transformed into a mega hip DJ, and most importantly brought along her imba self.

Memories like these, moments that hover and pass.

"E.E. Cummings once wrote; 'To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.'"

And to be myself in front of these two people, is absolutely not something I have to struggle with. I love them for who they are, and for loving me the way I am. It's a blessing, an undeserving one on my part, for these two wonderful friends in my life. I don't even know if 'friends' is sufficient to convey how significant they are to me! They are so amiable and trustworthy, so giving and fiercely dependable. This post is nearly 3 weeks late, but the greatness of my appreciation for what they have done for my birthday haven't change at all, if anything I just learn to treasure them more. :}

Xiaofei, I will never forget our first encounter, from the first few words you said to me the first day I went for training(HAHA), to gymming together and to tau huey. Most of all, I know these epic moments will not stop there, as proven on my 18th birthday(heehee!), and also because we have a deal with your-new-friend-Lynnie that the three of us will be awaiting the marvelous trip to Barca with much anticipation. And trust me, it won't stop there! I must have said it thousands of times, but you made my 18th so ingrained that I won't say "thank you" anymore, but I love you so. Okay, now you can die from cheesiness and excessive goosebumps HEEHEE :D

And Toh Wuen Lynn, for more than 5 years now we've grown from complete strangers to acquintances, to teammates, to friends, and finally, lovers. HAHA I'm kidding, in case any one gets the wrong idea LOL. Nah I'm definitely joking because you know I'm straight and there's the U-18 Rugby shirt guy at Holland V, remember? HAHAHA, okay that's not the point. (if ever he comes across this then I'll just drop dead and die teehee!) You know we are so close we actually feel comfortable stoning in each other's presence and just relishing every moment we have together, and that knowledge alone comforts my heart so much whenever I am feeling alone. This never loses its meaning: I don't know what it will be like for me without you now that I've grown so accustomed to having you there with me going through nearly every important stage of our lives (since sec 1) together. From the smallest (Cedar bball team conflicts haha) to the most challenging obstacles ('A' lvls in less than 3 months!!), we've been there for each other and I can only wish with all my heart that all these that we experience together will only be a glimpse of how our friendship will grow and become in future, that in a long time to come we'll still be travelling side by side! The birthday surprise was completely unexpected, but everything you know I want for my two unbelivably good friends. I know you know me hehh. I love you Lynnie!

It burned my lips to say goodbye.

One may think we're alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We're not okay. 

What have I gotten myself into?

Cherish what you have before you lose what you love. Bear in mind, sacrifices are inevitable. It shouldn't be an issue if you're choosing what means the most to you. As for me, isn't that what true friends are for? I can do that. Hahahahahahahahaahahahahaa, definitely.

I'm taking one step away, heading towards the other direction!

Goodbye for now. It's time for history. (Umm.. literally. Arab-Israeli here I come!)


"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any pain: for the former things are passed away."
Revelation 21:4