Let the old self die.

We can only find peace in God by making peace with Him.

Two days of complete resentment, hurt, and living in utter disappointment didn't get me nowhere after all. It made me realise i'm only human and i'm weak. I had hit rock bottom. I won't elaborate anymore, but in a nutshell, everyone can choose to be bitter about their circumstances, or take every event that happened to them, even the most unpleasant ones, and thank God for those takeaways which will only shape them and help them grow stronger. Initially, I fell into the first category. It was only after God spoke to me today, that I chose the latter. What's done cannot be undone. I've given all that I have. Why or how it happened, that I have no say in or I may never understand, but I only have to look to God and trust Him. I have heard these words of consolation and assurance countless of times over these two days, but it all fell on deaf ears. I was buried too deep down in my own misery. I just didn't know if I can ever come out of this bubble I stupidly created for myself. It's only after I truly committed everything to God that each and single word from the people around me really spoke to my heart. I guess no matter how hard we try, we can never move on until we fully surrender our lives to God. Truth be told, i haven't been able to do that for the past year. And that's probably why things turned out the way it did. In God's sight, i should feel comforted that all of these will only turn out for the best. Where is my faith? And what right do i have to question my God?

"Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?"
Isaiah 29:16