The Fix.

I feel like it's back to the last of my secondary school days, only worse. How do I turn impossible to possible? How do I continue to push forward when everything seems so gloomy ahead, and it's taking so much to resist whatever is holding me back?

I'm pretty contented for my prelim results for a couple of subjects, the others.. pure disappointment. But I need to stay calm, keep cool, and... do something about it. If I did it 2 years ago, why can't I do it again now? I just need to find back my faith, and be reassured of God's strength and grace, which is more than sufficient to pull me through.

So what if they are throwing doubts in your face, as if you don't have enough of them? It shouldn't matter that nobody sees your hard work or acknowledges your efforts, or believe in you. Those that do, that's good enough because ultimately you should be giving your best shot for the sole purpose of yourself, and more importantly the glory of God. The rest is in His hands. You know it, so even if the results speak otherwise now, what difference does it make? It's not the end, not yet. So what's all the negativity about, if you know, and believe, that everything is under control in God's time and plan?

Maybe something more.

This indescribable feeling... the questions bothering you, just let go of them.

Cos from this moment onwards nothing else should matter. It's not worth it. Get your priorities straight. Kthxbye.

So the end is near. But why does it matter? You have been looking forward to this for God knows how long... to end this confusing phase in your life, so why the sudden subtle tinge of melancholy that comes along with the knowledge that nothing's gonna change, or stay the same, for that matter? So many questions, so few answers. So many doubts, so little time..

You might as well get used to it now.