And if we are finding us,

Hi Lee JA,

I LOVE the third picture because it's one of the VERY FEW photos that actually capture what you REALLY are like- spastic. I believe that's something few would expect when they first see you simply since you always seem so prim and proper. Untrue. Hahaha seriously, I love how you just crack me (and the other Cereal Killers) up. I mean, your kind of humour is one of a kind and it beats mine in many ways on different levels. I think we have telepathy or something because I've been wanting to post this but aha well due to fatigue, this BB needs rest and lots of them... thus the procrastination. I never thought I'd say this (ah who am I kidding), but I miss you surprisingly more than I thought I would. :( Okay maybe it wasn't so long a period of time in actual terms, but few weeks of not seeing you is really NOT the norm because we used to almost see each other everyday! Hmm, I'm starting to feel like I'm seeing less of you now that A's are over. Haha, but I won't fret cos I know you'd scold me for doing that, and I know now I have absolutely no reason too because what we have will only translate into a closer and stronger friendship as we break into the new year and many years after that. You better not doubt that too. You know, these couple of days working at the kindergarten have been so fulfilling and filled with never-ending happenings that I always almost want to share with you first moment (because I know you'll share the exact same sentiments as me heehee) but can't, cos we are both working (and you for many hours after I knock off) SIGH. I just hope I retain all that I wanna tell you and spam you with those hilarious and heart-warming moments I encounter(ed) by then. And on a heavier note...... PLEASE DON'T OVERWORK YOURSELF TYVM. REMEMBER TO EAT AND TAKE A BREAK AND TEXT ME. HAHA, I LOVE YOU SBB. :}

-With much love and annoyance at your packed schedule.

"The friendship that can cease has never been real."

Ours was and is. :)

To Kill a Mocking Girl

Hooked onto Pretty Little Liars, loving it! Haha, but the suspense is killing me and so I hate it. Ironic much? But anyway...CAN WE JUST KNOW WHO "A" IS ALREADY??? AND WHO THE MURDERER(S) ARE............ Yeah kinda angsty but that's what thrillers do to people HAHA. Ok I'm keeping my cool. :)

I started work on Friday (finally), and went for this lesson at night which I actually thoroughly enjoyed eventually. That being said, the beginning was definitely nerve-wrecking and trust me I wanted to escape the class before it started. But it wasn't too bad after all hahaha. It was a completely fulfilling day and it worked me down to the last bit heehee. Ended the day with dinner @ HK Cafe with Fishball and Hx, and I was so not unglam! Accidents happen when you have food in your mouth and your friends make you laugh, okay? That's all. :)

My body was aching like mad haha but I felt so accomplished. Looking forward to work tomorrow as well as the next few classes sometime in the week!

Lunch with church friends at 313 today and hahahaha hmm well... it was interesting haha. Funny at points of time, when the joke is NOT me or on me hahah. LOL. So anywayyyy, Ryan and Ian sent JC and me home heehee thanks guys! On a side note, yeah I think I ought to give better directions! :/

It's not easy to find friends whom you know will stick with you through thick and thin, friends who will gladly take up your burden and can whom you can withstand the test of time together, friends you'll continually grow close to. It's even harder if to find friends which fit into all of these criteria. But when you do, remember to thank God! And if you don't, pray for friends like these because these are friends you can keep for life and depend on with all your life. :)

I don't know what's ahead of me, but for everything God has blessed me with, I'm grateful and will eternally be indebted to Him.

& Hey, thanks for offering to listen, for actually listening and offering sound advice, and even for being willing to share the burden with me.

Okay gonna go REST NOW. It's gonna be a long Monday! Hmm.. God willing, I really hope the interview tomorrow night will turn out successful! So anyway yep prayerfully the second and following days of work at Marymount will be as pleasant and enriching as the first! The Kindergarten kids are SO cute, and really sweet. Haha I wouldn't mind having the kids protecting me from chameleons by gripping my hand tightly!

Adios! :)

Bankruptcy of a soul that expands too much in hope and expectation-

Disheartened, disappointed, disgusted.


“She wanted none of those days to end, and it was always with disappointment that she watched the darkness stride forward. ”

Moves like Jagger

HEY KHO BY RUIMINK,

YOU LOOK LIKE A CUTE MONSTER HERE.

Nah, you know it's a compliment cos you're like a coooooool heehee! Anyway it's almost a week since you turned EIGHTEEN and better late than never but HI QUICK GO TAKE DRIVING LESSONS WITH ME. :) It's a pity we didn't get to spend your 18th birthday together because you were on the plane back and I was still in the midst of camp haha. But, I hope the heels were good company! Rock on I love you! Strictly as BBFFs- hahaha Beard Papa Kho.

"Strange, what brings these past things so vividly back to us, sometimes."

Everything In Transit

It's always better to look at the irreproachable side of a person, but what happens when that just gives you one more chance to feel disconcerted in the existence of compassion because you realise they are totally far from that? It's mediocre. Why do people always think of themselves first? Even perhaps, the friends around us. I don't dare say I'm not one of them, because man is after all, sinful. I just don't want to be part of this group of uncaring, fake human race. And I know with God will empower me to the right things, simply because God is love. While these people, just want love without knowing or wanting to love.

To love or to be loved? Someone asked me this last night. Just a simple question, but it evoked thoughts from the past. I discovered for myself, it is happier to be loved -perhaps the happiest feeling in the world- but more blessed to love. But then again, who wouldn't want to be loved?

What do you want most in your life right now? Answers, maybe.

Stay away from all that remove God's first place in your heart.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It's yours."
-Ayn Rand, from Atlas Shrugged

This was what I posted slightly more than a year ago... and WOW. Haha, I totally forgot about it, yet when I read through these lines of probably really heartfelt thoughts, it evoked the essential nature in me and those turmoils tossing in my mind back then was indistinguishably called to memory. Perhaps this is exactly the reason why people want to keep a diary. For the simple assurance that they'll never lose any part of themselves, even if those experiences were at one point in time or another hidden away and banished from their everyday lives.

Maybe I'm slightly late but...

2012

May the Lord bless the New year and all that comes with it!

Praying for tomorrow, oh yes I'm praying hard. :)

When will I be enough?

I hate seeing people pulling away from each other in different directions, yet I have no idea how to stop it. And everything I do seems to be making it worse. Maybe it's God way of telling me I'll never be enough as long as I rely on myself..

I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs but no one can hear.

I need a breather, away from everything and everyone.

I gotta take a step back, cool down, and look at the bigger picture... and maybe see that those days and nights were nothing but days and nights. Even so, I'm so sick of all that is uncalled for, all that is redundant, all that is upsetting to the souls and unhealthy for the minds. They can continue walking I'll just turn and walk the other way for now!

Thank God for seeing me through December, for seeing me through Christmas, YF Camp, and for the entire year of 2011. The gratitude is unutterable but nevertheless deep rooted down in my heart. The dearest and best God of the whole world and universe, the One i can always lean back on and look to in the most despondent of times. YF camp 2011 brought me a mixture of so many feelings that I had to go through all at once... it was awakening.