"The first thing is to love your sport.
Never do it to please someone else. It has to be yours."
I really miss them. See you girls soon, but things have changed. We are different, but we are the same.
Gonna create new memories in SA, and I hope they are beautiful enough to stay in my mind, just like how I'm so attached to 4M, or how Cedar Bball was and still is, so dear to my heart. I think it's possible, but it's unlikely. It doesn't matter because God gave me more than I asked for, and He will multiply.
I'm totally gonna flunk BTs 1, and I've never been more certain of failing. I kinda just gave up after maths paper, seeing all my hard work go down the drain. As for the other subjects, yes I'm rueful and deserving. Even though it's so common for people to claim that the dire circumstances they are in is the worst and incomparable, it doesn't console me a single bit. Because I know at the end of the day, I'm gonna have to face my fears and handle my imperfections, alone. It's so true, none knows the weight of another's burden. Initially, I was really pessimestic and dispirited. But God spoke to me through the same verse which I came across just before the exams started. I knew then, I failed to trust in His word. I just thought I did. These few days of disheartened series and drama, really brought me back to Him. At this moment, I understand. I'm resolved to surrender to Him.
"Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep."
Psalm 127:1-2
What can I say. I'm just so thankful I have Lynnnnnnnn. Love her to bits. I wouldn't have seen things in a clearer light and instead, continue dwelling in my pathetic state of self-pity. Haha, even if everyone else fails me, I know she truly believes in me. Thank God for bringing her into my life.
And hey JA, thank you SO much for bearing my stress with me this whole week. Despite your face of coolness (you know I don't mean that right -.- HAHA) and composed disposition, I knw you are facing your own share of uncertainties and fear, and I'm sorry this time round I wasn't strong enough to be of support and motivation to you. Sorry :( But after all is said and done, when I think and reflect on the day, I know, you will do the phenomenal. Just because you are brillant and I know it. Stay annoying and ILY. :)
There are the other few people whom I know, love and care for me, and who I love and care for too. They keep me goingggggg.
OKAY SO... finally, there's gonna be training tomorrow evening. And I don't have school tomorrow. So, how lame is that? Going to school in the evening... zzz HAHA. But I'm kinda looking forward to it. I just pray God will give me strength and courage and bless my efforts. I'm afraid of being disappointed again, but I'm not gonna let this stop me. Lynnie and I promised each other, to play for ourselves and for our passion for the game. Not for anyone, not even for the condescending who constantly put us down.
99.999999%!
If you have no intention of being a lifelong shoulder for someone to lean on, don't offer it in the first place. Don't, even extend your arms. Just, don't. I'm just trying to say, please be genuine. The heart knows the reasons the reasons don't know. The heart knows the truth, even if it takes a lifetime to get there.
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