We owned the night.

I absolutely love this woman to bits and pieces. I cannot imagine how different my life would have turned out without her by my side all these years. Yesterday night was probably one of my best spent nights I have had in a long while, especially with so many of the unthinkable crumbling down on me. But I'm here now. And here is good.

It instantly warms my heart up to know how much she cares about me amidst all of these that I'm confronted with. Her assurance, it's indisputable. Haha long runs which comprises of her everyday life stories made the arduous process (given how long I haven't been running LOL) so much more bearable and entertaining. The nice weather was only bonus. Hehee not to mention, how the chill and chat moments of the night contributed to an ambiance so marvelous. Us being us, how can the night end without retarded but honest thoughts on top of endless rantings and hthts. Hahaha my preference for "strong arms" and hers for "broad shoulders" definitely correspond to what we need most. Inside joke HAHAHA. So yep, she might be deserting me for charming Brisbane but she promised me time will continue speeding through us and she'll be back in no time. So that makes me feel better. Preferably I can simply hop into a plane and demand her to take me in for a few days, provided I'm thick-skinned enough hehe.

Monsters

“When I was young, I couldn’t sleep at night because I thought there was a monster in the closet. But my brother told there wasn’t anything in the closet but fear. And fear wasn’t real. He said it wasn’t made of anything. Just…air. Not even that. He said you just have to face it. you just have to open that closet and the monster would disappear.”

I wonder, how true.

So if that means our monsters are no longer hiding in our bedrooms, under our beds, or in our closets, and is in fact living right inside us, we just gotta face ourselves. And maybe that's the scariest part. Facing ourselves, our own souls.

27 days since things have started to change drastically for me. In the midst I've experienced bitterness, anger, disappointment so immense I simply couldn't at any time bear, despair, and.. I was in a complete state of apprehension. So defiant and insistent to turn away and shut out everything else. And the thing that unnerved me the most, was the thought of giving up and throwing all my dreams away.

Now there's hope. It's a varied kind of hope, one that carries reservations and cautiousness and no longer naive or puerile, yet when rekindled in a pertinent way, can explode into a magnitude of unimaginable triumph. Not over anything or anyone. But victory over self. It brings me to another world. Far from where I am now. This hope, that I have now.

The previous kind of hope, got me where I am now, where I'd do anything to get away from. Too simplistic and trusting in the goodness of every outcome, every action. The wrong and overrated kind of hope. Too, happy.

I never want there to be a day when I tell my kids,

"When you grow up, your heart dies."

"It was real Sara.. You and me. It's real."

Easily the sweetest thing.

Starting Season Two I got a feeling Prison Break's only gonna become more of a tear-jerker than comedy. Not that Prison's Break meant to be either of the two genres. Haha. Michael Scofield is beyond cool in this series I can only wish I had watched it way earlier haha. I love how close Michael and Lincoln are, so sweet that their brotherly love threatens to choke me to death any second. And I love how Michael loves Sara so much I can almost feel his pain and him crying only makes it worse :'(

Cute Poison

They say bad memories bring us pain, but I think the good ones hurt more. They give us a bittersweet longing for the past that we know is unlikely, if not impossible, for us to relive them once again. Like, cute poison. I have been richly blessed, I pray that they feel the same way too. :)

As we grow a little older and wiser
We learn, with perhaps a little regret,
That these things can never be.

How many moments in life can you point to and say: 'That's when it all changed.' ?

Come to think of it, I've had quite a few.

Maybe somewhere deep down, when faced with an unwanted and abrupt situation, there's a desperation of wanting more "life-changing moments" to happen so that in the circle of life somehow, we go back to where we started. No loss, no gain. But after all the tosses and turns, have we lived life at all? What then lies behind our existence if -when- truly, there is a God-given purpose for creating every single soul on this earth?

It's probably not for us to know, but to know God knows.

Hanging out with JA till late night on her birthday was the most gratifying. The endless talks and random outburst of laughs at seemingly inappropriate episodes was in fact well-timed and becoming. But I presume it's only because the one I'm with is Jia Ai and she brings out the genuine in me. No hesitation, and naturally. Happy birthday you, 19 years of life have seemed to serve you well hahaha, thank God yep! :)

PS, Tiramisu at Prego's yesterday was simply unforgettable. Haha the best I've ever had!

PSS, Oh right and Torres' hat trick tonight got me smiling to bits. I never lost faith in him and it's a wonder why, but is that really important? Nahhhh love you Fernando!! Heehee and Liverpool's win over Stoke, (Y) Suarez and Downing haha yipee!