You And Me- Lifehouse (Stripped) What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive I can't keep up and I can't back down I've been losing so much time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do Nothing to lose And it's you and me and all other people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right I'm tripping on words You've got my head spinning I don't know where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do Nothing to prove And it's you and me and all other people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now I can't quite figure out Everything she does is beautiful Everything she does is right
“Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to." -Slyvia Plath
As i take in God's glory in full each day, witnessing the majestic wonders of every corner of all the places i've been to, there's still that lingering thought that never leaves. i have long guessed that the finite self can never fathom what lies beneath the surface of the life i'm living, nor am i able to envision what lies ahead, but the soul still calls out hard and long for a release so liberating the tears can run free. And for once, not out of desperation from a distressed and dissatisfied voice. Little did i know.. time has worn me out. Time, like a thief, has stolen from me perhaps not so much the days of glamor, but days and weeks and months of what life i can put to use and accomplish even the simplest pleasure on earth.
“Tomorrow, you promise yourself, will be different, but tomorrow is too often a repetition of today.” Author James T. Mccay
And that is where my grief lies.
Where and when does change come into play? Where and when does change, change?
Last night when I first saw her I literally felt my heart leap for joy! It has been wayyyy too long :( But I'm glad to see that she's doing fabulously well!! It was time well spent, even though I have assignments due tomorrow and I was supposed to be panicking yesterday. (I did, just not during the period of time spent with spastic Lynn haha) Dinner at Holland V nydc followed by a nearly 2hrs walk to Tiong Bahru MRT hahaha, while we reminsce AND update each other on the latest and juiciest news (more of hers than mine duh HAHAH). And it was reallyyyy crazy, the things we talked about!! She would know. Hm and, time really flies.
Take care love!! (I mean it and you know it) I hate goodbyes and I hate separation even more. But times like these always cause me to think about the same kinda things.. over and over again.
PS, FINALLY COMPLETED CREATIVE ASSIGNMENT OYEAH!!
PSS, not really looking forward to seeing how I'd do for this since creativity really isn't my strong suit... :(
so apparently small talks are underrated. at least according to com 225.
free writing. it's basically writing about anything and everything under the sun without structure. i love that. i don't know what's the relevance but oh well. hmm small talk does help avoid awkward situations. haha righttttttttt. oh there, free writing. that's what imma do now. hah.
anywayz, i have been stuck in front of my laptop for the more than an entire day, waiting for inspiration to struck me so i can start doing com 217's CREATIVE assignment. but so far... i've got only the skeleton. sigh, if only this applies to me. literally. hahahahaha. hm it's not funny at all. i cleverly decided to do up my reference list for esl 408 though, so at least one thing is off my mind. woohoo i know how to cite APA style- IN YOUR FACE. haha not like anyone cares. it's actually idiot proof once you get the main idea. which is good for idiots like me bwahaha. but oh well i'm still bothered by my severe lack of creativity. OK i've got the idea but face it, there's this part of me trying to procrastinate my way through. BUT NO IT SHALL NOT HAPPEN. i will complete it by tomorrow. or at least....... make sure 70% is done by then HAHA. okay fine, 75%. arghhhuhhhggg honestly i don't care. i just wanna get it over and done with. of course after putting in like 101% effort. heh heh.
school has been... considerably kind. i'm thankful. two exams went by, and i'm pretty relieved. although i'm still quite irked by the fact that there's so many assignments due for com 217. deal with it. i should really stop whining like a beach. baby. girl. hahaha MAN UP! everyone's moving on. i guess i can say i'm happy for the friends. i really am. oh anywayzz, there, like all other places, you meet all kinds of people. don't wanna judge so just gonna really thank God for all the nice friends, which to be honest, is really most of my classmates. and i'm contented. hmm.. it has been long. on another note, hahahaha they are really funny. like Laugh Out Loud funny, not "err ok ha-ha" funny. HAHA the thought of it always makes me wanna burst :D
oh random mindless thoughts. how ironic ha ha ha. oh oh lynnie is back in singapore for a few days! gonna see her two days later can't wait I CAN'T WAIT. hehe. recently i have had... no social life. none to mention of, yep. pathetic, sad, boring, yep. life of an old lady, yep. it's almost a prediction of my future oh my this is really quite sad. haha never mind it's alright i can always get rich and buy a farm and ride on horses and unicorns and die among roses. hahah i'm just kidding. no seriously, i am kidding. haha. what's wrong with me? hmm no idea it's 1.27am now. Happy Sunday everyone. i can't sleep oh no this is bad i must sleep soon. like now, NOW. i really have to be early for church tomorrow. yuppp! don't screw up your body clock mag. don't don't don't.
okay. Dashboard Confessional has been accompanying me till late nights recently. we practically ARE bffs. ^^ i don't understand how i missed them when they toured sg previously. grrrr why why WHY? haha nah whatever. have been spamming Dashboard Lifehouse and FM Static s-t-a-aa-ttt--i-c cc....as well. Top top top top favorites woots. loving the script's new album minus all the excessive rapping. erm like, seriously TOO MUCH. still good music though.
talked to JA over the phone just now LOL our convo...retarded as always. at this point of time, i'm missing kemei exceptionally much. i really don't know why :( of course, and ruimin and so many other people. but kemei, somehow it seems i haven't seen her for AGES AGES AGES HOW CAN HOW CAN. oh, and lynntoh haha but i'll be seeing her soon!
just this couple of days... it dawned on me what's the kind of person i really admire most. and it makes me happy knowing that there are still people like that in this world. maybe i'll never meet someone like that, but i'm happy for whoever does. it's a blessing to have someone who genuinely loves and cares for you. cherish them. :-)
The rate my life is progressing at scares me like hell. But more than that, it gives me a wake up call- to see all the shadows in all corners of my memory and propels me to recognize the regrets I've made from time to time. That's perhaps the thing which horrifies me the most, and the one burden I definitely have to get rid of if I wanna move forward in life, happily. I keep saying I don't want regrets, but why oh Lord do I keep giving myself chances to repine so hatefully?
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson.
And that's probably the answer to change- to start from within. But knowing that I'm such a wreck, both inside and out, and so unavailingly messed up, what then?
I feel like before I sort things out, before I do the right thing, I don't deserve to get my heart's truest desire. I don't deserve to be happy. It's pathetic like that.
Even so, what keeps me burning is God's grace. Thus far, I am immensely thankful for all that He has given me, so much so that my gratitude to His grace lies beyond what words can barely express. And it is also this amazing strength that can help me fulfill everything mentioned above.
