Thursday, August 30, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
“But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart.”
The things we see and hear around us everyday, the people we cross paths with, the places we have been to... have you ever wondered if they are all interconnected in some ways or another? That maybe, they are just small little pieces of puzzles that fit into a magnificient picture? One so great you never even dared imagine. Sometimes, I feel this way. Other times, I can't help feeling that they are like vapor that evaporates and never meant to be part of anything significant. Yet always it is only after having experienced how insignificant every encounter and trial is and every relationship turns out to be that we learn this lesson, that my vision starts to clear. Why?
Why? is never a question meant to be answered, but nobody seems to get it. Everyone wants to know the reason, the answer. And until we find out it appears that we can never rest.
As if knowing the truth can give us peace.
Probably. But it comes at a costly price and after a long time of healing. Because I guess the truth always hurts? Cliches are there for a reason.
Just a question for reference: Do people grow close to one another only due to circumstances? In a way, are they being "forced" to laugh with each other, to please one another, to go through thick and thin, to weather through the storm, to face difficulties, to have fun together, but only in a given context? Take that away, will those close friends remain close? If the answer is a resounding yes, then they are probably the pieces that will form your big picture, people who make you complete. And if no, then won't they fall into the latter? Vapor that was once essential, purposeful for a given occasion, but eventually evaporates, leaving nothing. Oh and how about those who smile at you as genuinely as you make them out to be and laugh with you so much, so hard that strangers envy, but are secretly filled with contempt when they regard you plainly? You know, we often buy into the ideas that others plant into our hearts- that we are special, but if we have the ability to read minds, we probably realize how pathetic and miserably wrong we are- that we are as insignificant as any other in their sight.
If we have to live our life with our guards up and defenses so strong, what then, is life? A weary, dark, strategic game that can never bring contentment and joy, possibly? And because of that, we come up with lies to eliminate any possibility of being hurt, and we accept them for what they are. But as for me, I don't wanna live like this.
Maybe I used to, but right now I want to stay true to myself. And I want to be happy.
That is why true friends are hard to come by. Never let them go.
Cherish your friends. Trust your instincts. Pray to God. :-)
Why? is never a question meant to be answered, but nobody seems to get it. Everyone wants to know the reason, the answer. And until we find out it appears that we can never rest.
As if knowing the truth can give us peace.
Probably. But it comes at a costly price and after a long time of healing. Because I guess the truth always hurts? Cliches are there for a reason.
Just a question for reference: Do people grow close to one another only due to circumstances? In a way, are they being "forced" to laugh with each other, to please one another, to go through thick and thin, to weather through the storm, to face difficulties, to have fun together, but only in a given context? Take that away, will those close friends remain close? If the answer is a resounding yes, then they are probably the pieces that will form your big picture, people who make you complete. And if no, then won't they fall into the latter? Vapor that was once essential, purposeful for a given occasion, but eventually evaporates, leaving nothing. Oh and how about those who smile at you as genuinely as you make them out to be and laugh with you so much, so hard that strangers envy, but are secretly filled with contempt when they regard you plainly? You know, we often buy into the ideas that others plant into our hearts- that we are special, but if we have the ability to read minds, we probably realize how pathetic and miserably wrong we are- that we are as insignificant as any other in their sight.
If we have to live our life with our guards up and defenses so strong, what then, is life? A weary, dark, strategic game that can never bring contentment and joy, possibly? And because of that, we come up with lies to eliminate any possibility of being hurt, and we accept them for what they are. But as for me, I don't wanna live like this.
Maybe I used to, but right now I want to stay true to myself. And I want to be happy.
That is why true friends are hard to come by. Never let them go.
Cherish your friends. Trust your instincts. Pray to God. :-)
“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”
“The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.”
― Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project
― Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project
Should i be feeling this way?
If it's the right thing to do, right thing to say, how come i don't feel the kind of happiness or excitement that probably should have accompanied the words being spilled? It feels as if i confidently took an elevator expecting to go all the way up only to find it going in the other direction, and at a very slow speed. Hmm or perhaps, i don't feel confident or capable enough to be accountable.. because, what if i'm wrong?
Such a weird feeling.
No, I'm not sad. Not exactly.
If it's the right thing to do, right thing to say, how come i don't feel the kind of happiness or excitement that probably should have accompanied the words being spilled? It feels as if i confidently took an elevator expecting to go all the way up only to find it going in the other direction, and at a very slow speed. Hmm or perhaps, i don't feel confident or capable enough to be accountable.. because, what if i'm wrong?
Such a weird feeling.
No, I'm not sad. Not exactly.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Compulsion
Help, I've been so hooked onto Criminal Minds! It's definitely sick and warped the way they creep into minds of the criminals haha. But in a very real way, it actually allows you to empathise with the mentally unstable in the world because they can't stay sane as much as they want to. Some of them. But still. I've been sleeping so late and waking up almost near noon I can feel my skin rotting. Okay I'm kidding! Hahaha because 8 hours of sleep does more than any medicine to heal and rejuvenate our skin!! Oh but yesterday I dreamt of something horrifying. I can't remember what it is but it's probably got to do with watching Criminal Minds just before I go to bed. 3 seasons in less than 2 weeks whee!
Omg I got no life hahaha hols what have you done to me?
Hmmmm absolutely in love with Derek Morgan!! He's so charismatic and kind. Well most of them are. HAHA reallyyy cute too, the way he always looks out for Garcia awwwww- heart throb!!
AND REID IS SO AWESOME I LOVE HIS SCENES ^^
AND REID IS SO AWESOME I LOVE HIS SCENES ^^
Oh oh and I think A.J. Cook (Jennifer Jareau) is REALLY pretty! JUST LOOK AT HER. :-)
Why am I up so late? Beats me! Contemplating between reading, re-watching A Walk To Remember, continuing another episode of Criminal Minds, or sleepingggggggg.
Omg I got no life hahaha hols what have you done to me?
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Chances are all they hope to be
God is gracious and He has been wonderful to me. Bountiful mercies i don't deserve but am immensely thankful for, truly. :-)
22Jul-
Birthday with the two people who have been there for me for 5 years and counting. Doesn't sound like a lot but deep down i know how much we all went through together! Had the best time laughing with the gals and taking grossly inaccurate personality test.
Birthday with the cousin i love so much before that^^ xoxo
23Jul-
Always happy to meet the girl. And the most tear-jerking birthday card (with an essay long of heartfelt words) received ever. She knows me inside out. Ms Forever Late and Always Forgiven came after that and words can't describe how much i miss her.:') I had a lovely time with them, short but sweet! More on that during the stay-over hehe.
25Jul-
I PASSED MY DRIVING PRACTICAL!!!! 'NUFF SAID HEHEHEHE
&
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELEEKEMEI!
The next few weeks were filled with presentations and exams and before i knew it, 12 weeks flew right by me. First sem was unexpectedly good to me. Com 101 proj group mates are the best i've had, really pray for nice proj groups next sem. Gonna miss the friends too :'(
10Aug-
Psy 101 was my last paper. And after that I met up with my best girls :-) HAHA MOVIE NIGHT WAS EPIC WASTE OF TIME. Jia Ai's eyes were so glued to the screen we found out her real motive for suggesting the movie hahaha. I think Daphne secretly enjoyed it as well............... After the movie we contemplated going for supper but got so lazy we just went straight to Daph's place. It was a BLAST hehh. Even though well we spent another couple of hours watching this highly twisted and intelligent movie we didn't understand after all and ended up going to bed feeling freaked out, a little. Haha stupid girl went to lock her room so JA and I couldn't go harass her. Not like we wanted to.... nah, we wanted to. Haha! The next morning the two of us woke up earlier than her (obviously) and ransacked her kitchen, gobbling down her cereal and helping ourselves to the food in her fridge. But it came at a cost coz JA had diarrhea that very day hahaha.
11Aug-
Fish n Co with 10A03. The day JA had diarrhea. It was great seeing the guys after months haha they are still as retarded oh well!
18Aug-
Impromptu dinner with Joy absolutely love love love her! ^^
20Aug-
Met Tab Lee and Joanne for dinner, finally. Haha really enjoyed catching up with them :)
22Aug-
nydc with Ruimin hehe always a joy to meet up with her and we make sure it doesn't span too far apart one meeting from the next! Heated argument that was so hilarious I almost choked on water haha. Dinner was sooooo satisfying hehe~
OK I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M POSTING AS IF I'M WRITING IN A PLANNER HAHA. But anywayzzz, school's starting in a couple more days NOOOOOO...... :( What kind of uni hols last for 2 weeks zzz I'm gonna miss sleeping 8 hours and more everyday hahaha! Oh well but I'm kinda stuck between excitement and dread. Is that normal? Really pray for another great semester.
But in all, God has been good to me. And i thank God. The friends will know :-)
22Jul-
Birthday with the two people who have been there for me for 5 years and counting. Doesn't sound like a lot but deep down i know how much we all went through together! Had the best time laughing with the gals and taking grossly inaccurate personality test.
Birthday with the cousin i love so much before that^^ xoxo
23Jul-
Always happy to meet the girl. And the most tear-jerking birthday card (with an essay long of heartfelt words) received ever. She knows me inside out. Ms Forever Late and Always Forgiven came after that and words can't describe how much i miss her.:') I had a lovely time with them, short but sweet! More on that during the stay-over hehe.
25Jul-
I PASSED MY DRIVING PRACTICAL!!!! 'NUFF SAID HEHEHEHE
&
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELEEKEMEI!
The next few weeks were filled with presentations and exams and before i knew it, 12 weeks flew right by me. First sem was unexpectedly good to me. Com 101 proj group mates are the best i've had, really pray for nice proj groups next sem. Gonna miss the friends too :'(
10Aug-
Psy 101 was my last paper. And after that I met up with my best girls :-) HAHA MOVIE NIGHT WAS EPIC WASTE OF TIME. Jia Ai's eyes were so glued to the screen we found out her real motive for suggesting the movie hahaha. I think Daphne secretly enjoyed it as well............... After the movie we contemplated going for supper but got so lazy we just went straight to Daph's place. It was a BLAST hehh. Even though well we spent another couple of hours watching this highly twisted and intelligent movie we didn't understand after all and ended up going to bed feeling freaked out, a little. Haha stupid girl went to lock her room so JA and I couldn't go harass her. Not like we wanted to.... nah, we wanted to. Haha! The next morning the two of us woke up earlier than her (obviously) and ransacked her kitchen, gobbling down her cereal and helping ourselves to the food in her fridge. But it came at a cost coz JA had diarrhea that very day hahaha.
11Aug-
Fish n Co with 10A03. The day JA had diarrhea. It was great seeing the guys after months haha they are still as retarded oh well!
18Aug-
Impromptu dinner with Joy absolutely love love love her! ^^
20Aug-
Met Tab Lee and Joanne for dinner, finally. Haha really enjoyed catching up with them :)
22Aug-
nydc with Ruimin hehe always a joy to meet up with her and we make sure it doesn't span too far apart one meeting from the next! Heated argument that was so hilarious I almost choked on water haha. Dinner was sooooo satisfying hehe~
OK I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M POSTING AS IF I'M WRITING IN A PLANNER HAHA. But anywayzzz, school's starting in a couple more days NOOOOOO...... :( What kind of uni hols last for 2 weeks zzz I'm gonna miss sleeping 8 hours and more everyday hahaha! Oh well but I'm kinda stuck between excitement and dread. Is that normal? Really pray for another great semester.
But in all, God has been good to me. And i thank God. The friends will know :-)
Still Here
It's been so long.. I feel like I'm escaping reality, escaping the harshness of this world by avoiding having to pen down my thoughts. Lately. Because when I write, I'm forced to think.
But beyond that, there is stillness and comfort when I'm writing. For that, I'm glad.
Every single day we fail to appreciate the words and thoughts of others we come across (whether verbally or in writing) not knowing how invaluable they are, especially since they all make up bits and pieces of the truest parts of other people's lives. Things that they want to share with the world but hesitate out of fear, weariness, vulnerability. We can understand if only we choose to do so, but we get so caught up in our very own lives we view as more important over others' ( because we as humans are simply, self-centered), and that's perhaps why we are unable to do so.
But beyond that, there is stillness and comfort when I'm writing. For that, I'm glad.
Every single day we fail to appreciate the words and thoughts of others we come across (whether verbally or in writing) not knowing how invaluable they are, especially since they all make up bits and pieces of the truest parts of other people's lives. Things that they want to share with the world but hesitate out of fear, weariness, vulnerability. We can understand if only we choose to do so, but we get so caught up in our very own lives we view as more important over others' ( because we as humans are simply, self-centered), and that's perhaps why we are unable to do so.
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