There is a battle, I know, between the desperation of wanting to express myself and the knowledge that as far as my vision allows me to see, it's pointless. At the end, there is only the choice of ignoring those urges. When you see past all the "what-ifs", you can only learn to accept. And at a time like this, you choose to better yourself from it or walk away in despair.

There's so little that keeps me going, but I guess... at the very least there is still hope, right?

Every now and then I think I'm finally growing stronger. But when the storm hits somehow I feel weaker than ever. The failures run on replay, and the regrets envelop all that I can think about; but most of all, what strangles my heart is the uncertainty of the road ahead hovers and it won't go away.

Daylight

Here I am waiting, i'll have to leave soon
Why am i, holding on?
We knew this would come, we knew it all along
How did it, come so fast?
This is our last night but it's late
And i'm trying not to sleep
Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away

And when the daylight comes i'll have to go
But tonight i'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close
Oh-woah, oh-woah, oh-woah
Oh-woah, oh-woah, oh-woah

Here I am staring at your perfection
In my arms, so beautiful
The sky is getting back the stars are burning out
Somebody slow it down
This is way too hard, cause I know
When the sun comes out, I will leave
This is my last glance that will soon be memory

I never wanted to stop because I don't wanna stuck alone babe, stuck alone babe
I was afraid of the dark but now it's all that I want, all that I want, all that I want

And when the daylight comes i'll have to go
But tonight i'm gonna hold you so close
Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close

My Sundown

It has been the longest time since i've had such a well-spent day like one yesterday. PlayNation with Eyc, Sarah, Alvin, and Colin was an eyeopener with all the unglamorous and truly entertaining moments. HAHA. And if that wasn't gratifying enough, overnight bridge and a whole lot of laughing into the wee hours with Debbs Alvin and N2 definitely was. I can't believe how spontaneous the friends were hehehe ^^ Not gonna say much but i love spending time with the people i do. This semester has been rewarding, more so than I have expected, and the day ended it with a whole new level of goodness altogether. I thank God for the friends, the results, and so, so, so, so much fun. For everything.

Meet me halfway.

For all it's worth, this has been a good run. Many times I find myself slipping back to where I just started, only to get a grip at the breaking point of remembering how hard I've fought to be where I am, how much I've done to free myself from whatever has been holding me back for way too long. So I continue moving forward and I know I've got what it takes to refrain from falling back to that stage of my life where everything seems so bleak. Just keep walking. It has been a semi-productive day studying with Smilerahz and I did enjoy the partly serious, partly entertaining, and partly interesting conversations we had. Here's to an even more fruitful day of studying tomorrow (and the days after that leading up to finals next week)!

Tonight, I got reminded of too many feelings I would rather not have experienced. But for all it's worth, I'm still here. I'm still living.

Stop getting so emotionally attached to things and people you know will come to pass, mag.

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

Some people in your life are meant to be there for the journey, but not everyone is meant to be there until the end.

SPLIT SECONDS AWAY.

Semester two is coming to an end. Unbelievable how time just robs us of our moments and our living months, years.. something I scorn at every single time I reflect on how much more I could have done for myself and for others. What I really hold is disdain is my own actions that I regret, and the person I blame is really, just myself. But God has been good to me for the past few months, I should know that better than anyone.

Sometimes though, I wonder, what more could I have done to live those moments to the fullest?

Rj the bunny have been going out of her way the past couple of weeks just to help me and because of that, I am honestly touched at the fact that there are people who still bother. On the same note, I'm really glad for her whole clique for always being there for me whenever I have to be #foreveralone hahaha, like when Eyc or the rest of my clique has something on and I can always, always, join them and feel so belonged. Eyc whom I really appreciate having (almost) all the same classes as me and whom I can always talk to about anything, as well as A who can be so extremely annoying but always so ready to help. Really thankful. Haha and jokers like N2 who make my school life entertaining as ever. All of them are more than I asked for, and I am so grateful to be me. The classmates have been great, but the thought of having to grow accustomed to a new class all over again next sem makes me shudder a little. Am I gonna have to constantly step out of my comfort zone? Will I never get to stay with the same group of people? Something tells me that this is life. And so the answer is yes.

On a slightly separate note, I'm done for all my presentations this semester! Wheeeee thank God. Now I can only pray for the best. Haha and so currently I'm left with all the studying for the remaining exams to come. OK CAN.

PS, today was an epic fail on my side to maintain my composure. I can't believe I did what I did hahahaha so embarrassing omggg.

PSS, ESL was a full 3hrs today we almost died. Hmm I don't know why I had to say that.. but yeahh hahaha!

PSSS, there were moments today I actually thought of 10A03 and found myself wondering if I actually laughed as much as I did then.. it surprises me how many kinds of funny exists out there and how fortunate I am to be surrounded by people like that who never fails to make me laugh.

THEN, I thought of JA. I wish you were there with me to enjoy all the retarded moments, just like we used to. I miss you very much :-)

And not forgetting Daph Law. Please, press on! A's will be over before you know it, and you are stronger than you think. Stay strong love!