Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

Some people in your life are meant to be there for the journey, but not everyone is meant to be there until the end.

SPLIT SECONDS AWAY.

Semester two is coming to an end. Unbelievable how time just robs us of our moments and our living months, years.. something I scorn at every single time I reflect on how much more I could have done for myself and for others. What I really hold is disdain is my own actions that I regret, and the person I blame is really, just myself. But God has been good to me for the past few months, I should know that better than anyone.

Sometimes though, I wonder, what more could I have done to live those moments to the fullest?

Rj the bunny have been going out of her way the past couple of weeks just to help me and because of that, I am honestly touched at the fact that there are people who still bother. On the same note, I'm really glad for her whole clique for always being there for me whenever I have to be #foreveralone hahaha, like when Eyc or the rest of my clique has something on and I can always, always, join them and feel so belonged. Eyc whom I really appreciate having (almost) all the same classes as me and whom I can always talk to about anything, as well as A who can be so extremely annoying but always so ready to help. Really thankful. Haha and jokers like N2 who make my school life entertaining as ever. All of them are more than I asked for, and I am so grateful to be me. The classmates have been great, but the thought of having to grow accustomed to a new class all over again next sem makes me shudder a little. Am I gonna have to constantly step out of my comfort zone? Will I never get to stay with the same group of people? Something tells me that this is life. And so the answer is yes.

On a slightly separate note, I'm done for all my presentations this semester! Wheeeee thank God. Now I can only pray for the best. Haha and so currently I'm left with all the studying for the remaining exams to come. OK CAN.

PS, today was an epic fail on my side to maintain my composure. I can't believe I did what I did hahahaha so embarrassing omggg.

PSS, ESL was a full 3hrs today we almost died. Hmm I don't know why I had to say that.. but yeahh hahaha!

PSSS, there were moments today I actually thought of 10A03 and found myself wondering if I actually laughed as much as I did then.. it surprises me how many kinds of funny exists out there and how fortunate I am to be surrounded by people like that who never fails to make me laugh.

THEN, I thought of JA. I wish you were there with me to enjoy all the retarded moments, just like we used to. I miss you very much :-)

And not forgetting Daph Law. Please, press on! A's will be over before you know it, and you are stronger than you think. Stay strong love!

I was never made to be all that perfection.

I yearn for nights like those I've had in the past week. Free-spirited, insightful conversations, accompanied by light-hearted jokes and genuine self-disclosures, all of which came unanticipated and flows with ease and comfort. Friends who are honest, open, and unafraid to be themselves in my presence. Those late nights were definitely worth it, and it's been so long since I've enjoyed sitting through a meal without worrying about tomorrows to come. I want that. I do.

I feel like I'm undeserving at times. But- And I'm absolutely, immensely thankful.

It stirred me how people can be so honest with themselves to the extent they actually feel like a horrible human being, despising all that they stand for. And at those very moments I find myself mustering all that I believe in as someone who believes in God and hence the goodness of humanity, to convince them that they are not. It actually tears me a little to know the people around me are feeling so inadequate... and I want so much to be able to change that, to let them know how precious and valuable they are. At least in my sight. But then I remember how often I feel likewise- insufficient and unlovable- eventually growing numb to the idea that I will never be good enough. Will I ever touch someone's heart the way the people around me do to me? 

One of the best.

You And Me- Lifehouse (Stripped)

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Dear, don't you see that this is a vicious cycle?