Wednesday, May 23, 2012
All that counts.
Irrevocably, nothing will ever be the same.
On a separate note, it's only the third day but I'm already feeling so swarmed up by assignments and the amount of work thrown to us. But surprisingly, I kinda enjoy it. Honestly. Haha I have even more reason to put in all I've got. The close friends would know. But first and foremost above all things, I gotta thank the Almighty Father above! Truly, it is only by God's grace I can adapt so quickly and so well to the environment, and most importantly the wonderful friends. We come from diversified backgrounds and many of us had vastly different experiences, some painful ones. Yet, we still have within in us that one common goal and desire that is inexplicable to those outside of us, and that is probably why our exchange of words and mutual feelings towards each other are so genuine. Better yet, they are all really hilarious and that's the best part- I can be myself and laugh all I want to hahaha, even when it's actually ultra embarrassing that I probably appear to be so spastic. Hmm, orientation went quite well and that helped too! Added bonus I guess ^^
Hi Eychelle you are really retarded but that's alright because you are so funny. Hehehehehahhahaha! Love hanging out with the og mates too despite all the purposeful scandals they made up about me. All untrue!! Haha but they are really nice people! I'll never forget night walk during orientation where I totally pushed the shower button out of fear and drenched Colin thinking the 'ghosts' did it hahaha and Hayyu (so annoying zzomg.) actually offered me to them knowing I was so frightened out of my wits. Then there's Sarah who shares my humor and understands what's so funny even when I'm silent HAHA.
Oh we are already given groups for our Comms class HAHA and I REALLY LOVE MY GROUP. Thank God we feel so comfortable with each other. They are all so funny omgggg. The introductory video we made (immediately after class) was EPIC I can't stop laughing at the thought of it. Of course the (SUPER RETARDED) sound effects helped a lot hahaha.
I saw Andrew on the first day and I was somewhat relieved knowing there is someone I can always rely on if all else fails. Hopefully not, God willing. :-) Haha oh yeah and I can always hitch a ride from him if I'm feeling lazy or broke. No idea how that will work out though..............just saying haha!
Gymming with Eychelle before class yesterday was awesome too. Although I'm sorta perturbed that I am so unfit now.... zzzzz. Not to mention looking so noob in front of Marcus and Saxobeat. HAHA aiya who cares right. It was fun nevertheless! Okay healthy living c'mon man hahaha. Wootsss but my arms are aching so badly now that I'm actually secretly relishing the sensation every time I lift my arms up! I feel sick. LOL.
Oh and Singapore is so small. Upon reaching BBDC today, I saw one of my schoolmates and we actually acknowledged each other even though we never really talked before hahah it was quite amusing because I wasn't sure I got the right person! I think he was thinking the same too HAHA. Hmm driving simulator was interestingggggg.
My thoughts are so random now. Got to do with my brain slowly shutting down after a long day I guess...................But anyway, on top of everything else, I really miss my friendsssss :( J, I feel like I haven't spoke to you in ages and it saddens me. Sigh. Then again, see you and the rest (Daphhhh and Nat and Pling) on Friday night!! Daphne L you are so sweet to fight for tix for me hahaha :}
I don't hope for much right now. While everything is still uncertain and things and people are constantly changing, leaving... I must say it is best not to get overly attached. People always leave. That's the norm. For all I know, next week from now I might be facing everything all alone again, after newfound friends make their own plans and go their way (as they should..) But oh well, I'm not in control. Everything's great now and that's all that counts, here and now. Great simply because I don't look too far ahead. I can't afford to. And so for now, all I can do is to get the most out of what is within my reach and be contented. Of course, it would be for the best if things remain the same two or even three years from now... or maybe even get better, but right now I'm just glad and I thank God.
On a separate note, it's only the third day but I'm already feeling so swarmed up by assignments and the amount of work thrown to us. But surprisingly, I kinda enjoy it. Honestly. Haha I have even more reason to put in all I've got. The close friends would know. But first and foremost above all things, I gotta thank the Almighty Father above! Truly, it is only by God's grace I can adapt so quickly and so well to the environment, and most importantly the wonderful friends. We come from diversified backgrounds and many of us had vastly different experiences, some painful ones. Yet, we still have within in us that one common goal and desire that is inexplicable to those outside of us, and that is probably why our exchange of words and mutual feelings towards each other are so genuine. Better yet, they are all really hilarious and that's the best part- I can be myself and laugh all I want to hahaha, even when it's actually ultra embarrassing that I probably appear to be so spastic. Hmm, orientation went quite well and that helped too! Added bonus I guess ^^
Hi Eychelle you are really retarded but that's alright because you are so funny. Hehehehehahhahaha! Love hanging out with the og mates too despite all the purposeful scandals they made up about me. All untrue!! Haha but they are really nice people! I'll never forget night walk during orientation where I totally pushed the shower button out of fear and drenched Colin thinking the 'ghosts' did it hahaha and Hayyu (so annoying zzomg.) actually offered me to them knowing I was so frightened out of my wits. Then there's Sarah who shares my humor and understands what's so funny even when I'm silent HAHA.
Oh we are already given groups for our Comms class HAHA and I REALLY LOVE MY GROUP. Thank God we feel so comfortable with each other. They are all so funny omgggg. The introductory video we made (immediately after class) was EPIC I can't stop laughing at the thought of it. Of course the (SUPER RETARDED) sound effects helped a lot hahaha.
I saw Andrew on the first day and I was somewhat relieved knowing there is someone I can always rely on if all else fails. Hopefully not, God willing. :-) Haha oh yeah and I can always hitch a ride from him if I'm feeling lazy or broke. No idea how that will work out though..............just saying haha!
Gymming with Eychelle before class yesterday was awesome too. Although I'm sorta perturbed that I am so unfit now.... zzzzz. Not to mention looking so noob in front of Marcus and Saxobeat. HAHA aiya who cares right. It was fun nevertheless! Okay healthy living c'mon man hahaha. Wootsss but my arms are aching so badly now that I'm actually secretly relishing the sensation every time I lift my arms up! I feel sick. LOL.
Oh and Singapore is so small. Upon reaching BBDC today, I saw one of my schoolmates and we actually acknowledged each other even though we never really talked before hahah it was quite amusing because I wasn't sure I got the right person! I think he was thinking the same too HAHA. Hmm driving simulator was interestingggggg.
My thoughts are so random now. Got to do with my brain slowly shutting down after a long day I guess...................But anyway, on top of everything else, I really miss my friendsssss :( J, I feel like I haven't spoke to you in ages and it saddens me. Sigh. Then again, see you and the rest (Daphhhh and Nat and Pling) on Friday night!! Daphne L you are so sweet to fight for tix for me hahaha :}
I don't hope for much right now. While everything is still uncertain and things and people are constantly changing, leaving... I must say it is best not to get overly attached. People always leave. That's the norm. For all I know, next week from now I might be facing everything all alone again, after newfound friends make their own plans and go their way (as they should..) But oh well, I'm not in control. Everything's great now and that's all that counts, here and now. Great simply because I don't look too far ahead. I can't afford to. And so for now, all I can do is to get the most out of what is within my reach and be contented. Of course, it would be for the best if things remain the same two or even three years from now... or maybe even get better, but right now I'm just glad and I thank God.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Scraped Knees Plastered Smiles
What we have is a million little things. Irreplaceable things.
Hi amigo, you'll never be alone. Hehe because I won't let you be, so wipe away the frown that has been plastered on your face for the past few days and smile knowing you have someone to share your crappy days with. Too bad for me. Hahaha I'm just kidding ^^ Our journey is only beginning. See where we are now, so who cares if the next 3 years or 3000 years are gonna be filled with tests after tests, we're still gonna emerge victorious yeppps!!! It's who came and never left that matters. :-)
There's none other like you xoxo!
My Love
So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again... my love.
An empty street, an empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together.
I try to read, I go to work
I'm laughing with my friends
But I can't stop to keep myself from thinking.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together.
Love my 4Maddies! This is a song I'll always remember, and I hope they do too. :-)
Monday, May 7, 2012
God works in miraculous ways. I can't emphasize that enough.
For the past few weeks, the course of my life seemed to have changed a million times and the people who have stood by my side all these while would now know that despite all the heartaches, heartbreaks, things are starting to turn out, manifestly for the best. Just when I thought all's lost, He gave me my heart's desire, made me realise what is important and what is it I actually want. God never leaves us. And when we are feeling unable, that's when we need Him more than ever. We forget that. I've conveniently forgotten that, but I thank God for His bountiful mercies.
The words and actions of true friends constantly astound me. The extent that they will go to give you all the help, support and love in the world.. it all leaves me speechless. Very few of them, yet very precious. You know who they are only when a storm hits you. One that leaves you defenseless and half-dead.
For the past few weeks, the course of my life seemed to have changed a million times and the people who have stood by my side all these while would now know that despite all the heartaches, heartbreaks, things are starting to turn out, manifestly for the best. Just when I thought all's lost, He gave me my heart's desire, made me realise what is important and what is it I actually want. God never leaves us. And when we are feeling unable, that's when we need Him more than ever. We forget that. I've conveniently forgotten that, but I thank God for His bountiful mercies.
The words and actions of true friends constantly astound me. The extent that they will go to give you all the help, support and love in the world.. it all leaves me speechless. Very few of them, yet very precious. You know who they are only when a storm hits you. One that leaves you defenseless and half-dead.
Meanders
Free-spirited.
I applaud people who are.
Over the past couple of days, I've given much thought to a few people whom I care about very much, and some who are close to my heart. They are confirmation of how life continues on without you whether you like it or not, because everyone moves on to the next stage of their life eventually. Even if their paths are steering clear from yours. I just wish they stay safe and sound, wherever they are.
God bless.
I applaud people who are.
Over the past couple of days, I've given much thought to a few people whom I care about very much, and some who are close to my heart. They are confirmation of how life continues on without you whether you like it or not, because everyone moves on to the next stage of their life eventually. Even if their paths are steering clear from yours. I just wish they stay safe and sound, wherever they are.
God bless.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Eyes Wide Open
So this is the end of the story,
Everything we had, everything we did,
Is buried in dust,
And this dust is all that's left of us
Everything we had, everything we did,
Is buried in dust,
And this dust is all that's left of us
Ashes of Dreams You Let Die
How powerful the Word of God, to bring tears to them whose hearts have grown weak and cold like a dying man preparing to depart the world. These tears show brokenness and despair, pain so immense one can do nothing but wait for it to pass. But they show revival as well, the ability to feel hurt, to feel scared, to feel alone. And having these dreadful emotions beat having none.
I thank God.
I have definitely been guilty of bearing resentment and harbouring bitterness towards the predicament I am in, but what acts as a slap across my face even more is knowing how absurd it would be if I let go of God when holding on tightly to His grace and love is exactly what will pull me through. Yet I have felt my grip loosening..
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
An apt and timely reminder of God's marvelous work and miraculous ways.
I look at the world around me now. Everything is working out just fine. Everything but me. I'm in a state of utter wreck. One whereby I witness how easily and how fast people walk out on the very moment things make a turn for the worse. It saddens me. More accurately, it breaks my heart. But I'm in no position to hope otherwise. I'm just one.
I'm just one, but because God loves me, He gave me these few people... precious few whom I seek comfort and found true friendship in. Of course, I see how the rest gradually fall away from me.
4Maddies. People who can take my mind away from troubles and heartaches. Classmates who never change. Friends who never judge. One big family. Saturday night was amazing because of all of you. One of the best nights I've had in a while. Truth be told, I haven't laughed so hard and so much for weeks. Hehe, not to mention laugh till I cry (or wanna pee). I'm blessed to be a part of this magnificent and irreplaceable class. And this is for life.
The message from Yf and 4Mad gathering on Saturday had brought me spending much time with God. The right company uplifts. Genuine concern touches. True friends are all that matters. Thank You God. And maybe when we decide to find joy in the smallest things, we really start to feel happier. Contentment breeds happiness. But I'm far from being there. I'm, still struggling. God help me. :-)
Sunday. For so long I've felt so alone. Like a walking corpse, going through with the daily motions not being able to feel life for what it is. But yesterday I met Daphne in town after my driving (which was on a totally separate note, hilarious to the max haha thanks to my instructor), and that changed something so vital somewhere so deep inside me. I can't thank God enough for the impromptu date we agreed on only couple of hours before we met, because it made me realise how similar our lives are, how our thoughts interwined and overlap at so many issues. Our life not so glamorous, not so perfect. In fact, as damaged and abandoned as we can be. And despite all of it, she awakened the survivor in me I never thought still existed. I've been looking so long, and I didn't see to search someone like her so near to me. I must be blind. Broken and blind. Like how the Lifehouse songs go. Alright, that was irrelevant hah. Now that I've re-found her, I thank God with all that I'm left with now. :')
JA. What more can I say? Throughout these two months, you have never left my side when I needed you the most. Few weeks ago at Nex, that was the juncture I saw you completely for who you are. So fiercely loyal and compassionate. You know how words can no longer convey how I feel towards our friendship. Your actions of late speak so much louder than the many words many have given but came to end up void. Like I said, your presence at this point in my life means more to me than I can imagine and I hate you for making me so completely bought over by you I resort to choosing you as my lunch time buddy even when you cannot be at work with me physically (#foreveralone you see) haha. But really, thanks babe :)
Right now, I can only re-consecrate my life to God and pray for renewed strength and faith. And I pray, that He'll lead me through the next few very crucial days as I accept His will for me.
I'm far from restored, far from happy. But I'm turning to God for i am weak but He is strong.
I thank God.
I have definitely been guilty of bearing resentment and harbouring bitterness towards the predicament I am in, but what acts as a slap across my face even more is knowing how absurd it would be if I let go of God when holding on tightly to His grace and love is exactly what will pull me through. Yet I have felt my grip loosening..
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
An apt and timely reminder of God's marvelous work and miraculous ways.
I look at the world around me now. Everything is working out just fine. Everything but me. I'm in a state of utter wreck. One whereby I witness how easily and how fast people walk out on the very moment things make a turn for the worse. It saddens me. More accurately, it breaks my heart. But I'm in no position to hope otherwise. I'm just one.
I'm just one, but because God loves me, He gave me these few people... precious few whom I seek comfort and found true friendship in. Of course, I see how the rest gradually fall away from me.
4Maddies. People who can take my mind away from troubles and heartaches. Classmates who never change. Friends who never judge. One big family. Saturday night was amazing because of all of you. One of the best nights I've had in a while. Truth be told, I haven't laughed so hard and so much for weeks. Hehe, not to mention laugh till I cry (or wanna pee). I'm blessed to be a part of this magnificent and irreplaceable class. And this is for life.
The message from Yf and 4Mad gathering on Saturday had brought me spending much time with God. The right company uplifts. Genuine concern touches. True friends are all that matters. Thank You God. And maybe when we decide to find joy in the smallest things, we really start to feel happier. Contentment breeds happiness. But I'm far from being there. I'm, still struggling. God help me. :-)
Sunday. For so long I've felt so alone. Like a walking corpse, going through with the daily motions not being able to feel life for what it is. But yesterday I met Daphne in town after my driving (which was on a totally separate note, hilarious to the max haha thanks to my instructor), and that changed something so vital somewhere so deep inside me. I can't thank God enough for the impromptu date we agreed on only couple of hours before we met, because it made me realise how similar our lives are, how our thoughts interwined and overlap at so many issues. Our life not so glamorous, not so perfect. In fact, as damaged and abandoned as we can be. And despite all of it, she awakened the survivor in me I never thought still existed. I've been looking so long, and I didn't see to search someone like her so near to me. I must be blind. Broken and blind. Like how the Lifehouse songs go. Alright, that was irrelevant hah. Now that I've re-found her, I thank God with all that I'm left with now. :')
JA. What more can I say? Throughout these two months, you have never left my side when I needed you the most. Few weeks ago at Nex, that was the juncture I saw you completely for who you are. So fiercely loyal and compassionate. You know how words can no longer convey how I feel towards our friendship. Your actions of late speak so much louder than the many words many have given but came to end up void. Like I said, your presence at this point in my life means more to me than I can imagine and I hate you for making me so completely bought over by you I resort to choosing you as my lunch time buddy even when you cannot be at work with me physically (#foreveralone you see) haha. But really, thanks babe :)
Right now, I can only re-consecrate my life to God and pray for renewed strength and faith. And I pray, that He'll lead me through the next few very crucial days as I accept His will for me.
I'm far from restored, far from happy. But I'm turning to God for i am weak but He is strong.
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