Let's fly the time machine back to several months ago.
The day Jia Ai was absent, the day Ping Ling, Natalie, and I walked into the library occupied with both the J1s and J2s, with no free tables for us to sit down and slack, was the day we met Daphne.
What a pretty girl. We all must have secretly thought deep down our hearts. And maybe that's what formed our first impression of her- cold and unapproachable. How wrong I was. I never expected us to turn out being such great friends, honestly. But now that we are, despite all difficulties and lack of opportunities for us to gather and have hthts, I thank God with all my heart.
Others call it fate that we became friends at the library. I say it's God's plan. I don't think I would ever forget, or want to forget, how happy you made all of us then with surprising lame jokes that come out from your mouth, or act cute expressions which totally don't fit your gentle ladylike face. Haha, I miss that so much.
Today marks the last day of our J1 year. I thought I'd experience feelings of sorrow and a tinge of melancholy, but the school day was so normal that I cannot bring myself to register this very fact that next year things will all be so different. There are definitely the good and bad, but I can safely say the bad would definitely be the friends I'll miss so much. Daphne, things will be really different without you. I can understand her p.o.v and so no hard feelings about her abscence for this whole week, just perhaps, that emptiness when you miss someone so much. I'm thankful for Jia Ai, because otherwise I couldn't imagine what would be left of me in SA. Without Jia Ai, without Daphne, without Nat's bubbly and same-wavelength-kind-of-humour-as-mag, without Pling, it wouldn't be the same, no. But in spite of all of that, I have to admit, finally, that we are really not that close after all. The Cereal Killers. Reality bites, I know. Sadly.
But I can't silence the fact that Daph and JA have changed me so much in ways I never knew. Even though I spend much lesser time with Daphne than perhaps even Nat, the times we had together-even those few times- were priceless to me and gold-like. The things she say always has the ability to make me reflect, cry, learn. As for Jia Ai, it's the littlest things to the most important experiences that shape me to become more sensitive, more mature, and more insightful. Although there are probably countless times conflicts arise between us and we start to have mini cold wars and mutual misunderstandings, I thank God for always resolving them in the end. And each conflict always teaches me a lesson, of course, not before breaking me down into humble little pieces. She makes me real sad and maddened sometimes just like how I think I unknowingly annoy her at times, but for the most, she makes up most of my happy memories in SA. So the two of you, if for the past year, I've said or done hurtful things that keep coming back upon remembering, I'm sorry. That was never my intention.
God knows how many times I stand in awe of the fact that I've grown to be so reliant on them the past year. It was so different from what I promised myself at the start of the year- to not trust anyone completely because this way, the probability that I'd get hurt would be reduced to the lowest. I failed. But I'm happy I did, because in return, I earned wonderful, lovely friends like them. Thank God.
Only after reading certain text messages, that I really felt waves of emotions. I hate to have regrets, but I regret not being a better classmate or friend to some people. I regret not giving my all to make this half of our JC journey more memorable.
The will of God can never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
The day Jia Ai was absent, the day Ping Ling, Natalie, and I walked into the library occupied with both the J1s and J2s, with no free tables for us to sit down and slack, was the day we met Daphne.
What a pretty girl. We all must have secretly thought deep down our hearts. And maybe that's what formed our first impression of her- cold and unapproachable. How wrong I was. I never expected us to turn out being such great friends, honestly. But now that we are, despite all difficulties and lack of opportunities for us to gather and have hthts, I thank God with all my heart.
Others call it fate that we became friends at the library. I say it's God's plan. I don't think I would ever forget, or want to forget, how happy you made all of us then with surprising lame jokes that come out from your mouth, or act cute expressions which totally don't fit your gentle ladylike face. Haha, I miss that so much.
Today marks the last day of our J1 year. I thought I'd experience feelings of sorrow and a tinge of melancholy, but the school day was so normal that I cannot bring myself to register this very fact that next year things will all be so different. There are definitely the good and bad, but I can safely say the bad would definitely be the friends I'll miss so much. Daphne, things will be really different without you. I can understand her p.o.v and so no hard feelings about her abscence for this whole week, just perhaps, that emptiness when you miss someone so much. I'm thankful for Jia Ai, because otherwise I couldn't imagine what would be left of me in SA. Without Jia Ai, without Daphne, without Nat's bubbly and same-wavelength-kind-of-humour-as-mag, without Pling, it wouldn't be the same, no. But in spite of all of that, I have to admit, finally, that we are really not that close after all. The Cereal Killers. Reality bites, I know. Sadly.
But I can't silence the fact that Daph and JA have changed me so much in ways I never knew. Even though I spend much lesser time with Daphne than perhaps even Nat, the times we had together-even those few times- were priceless to me and gold-like. The things she say always has the ability to make me reflect, cry, learn. As for Jia Ai, it's the littlest things to the most important experiences that shape me to become more sensitive, more mature, and more insightful. Although there are probably countless times conflicts arise between us and we start to have mini cold wars and mutual misunderstandings, I thank God for always resolving them in the end. And each conflict always teaches me a lesson, of course, not before breaking me down into humble little pieces. She makes me real sad and maddened sometimes just like how I think I unknowingly annoy her at times, but for the most, she makes up most of my happy memories in SA. So the two of you, if for the past year, I've said or done hurtful things that keep coming back upon remembering, I'm sorry. That was never my intention.
God knows how many times I stand in awe of the fact that I've grown to be so reliant on them the past year. It was so different from what I promised myself at the start of the year- to not trust anyone completely because this way, the probability that I'd get hurt would be reduced to the lowest. I failed. But I'm happy I did, because in return, I earned wonderful, lovely friends like them. Thank God.
Only after reading certain text messages, that I really felt waves of emotions. I hate to have regrets, but I regret not being a better classmate or friend to some people. I regret not giving my all to make this half of our JC journey more memorable.
The will of God can never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.
